TITLE: Wanted: Dead or Dead
SCAMMER NAME: Tommy Mark/Lewis Seth
SCAMMER LOCATION: Republic of Benin
SCAMBAITER: Shiver Metimbers
A change from the usual 419 type scam now. Here we have a scammer
selling non existant puppies.
From: Tommy Mark
To: Arthur Dent
Date: February 25, 2006
Subject: Puppy for sale
my is clement i am from barrytown(new york) but due to work
presntly i was just been transfered about couple of days for a missionary
purpose in west africa.right now i am still located in republic
of benin where am carrying out my missionary assignment and due
to tight assignment i found myself i don't have much time to take
good care of my puppy like i use to,and so also the environment
that the puppy found her self here in republic of benin is too harsh.
therefore have decided to give out the puppy to a good caring person
that would treat my puppy with a tender care and a well family interraction.
the puppy is well breed and the puppy has a current vaccination,vet
exams,health certificate and 1year guarantee.the puppy has potty
trained,home raise and socialized for tremendious attitude.well
and excellent temparamented.the puppy has super trainability and
people pleasing personality.the puppy is given a high learning a
delight elegance of structure and well dewormed.the dog has C.K.C,A.K.C
and F.C.I Registered.am offering the puppy out at $650 each one
including the shipment.and i have attack the pics of my puppy, and
i will like to attach the pic of mine self.
i will like to hear from you as soon as possible.Thanks AND
GOD BLESS.
Tommy attaches (or should that be attack?!) photos of his puppy,
obviously ripped from some internet site. Note that these picture
are actual size:
I express an interest in Tommy's puppies, but not in the way
he thinks.
From: Arthur Dent
To: Tommy Mark
Date: February 25, 2006
How much will it cost for you to kill the puppies and send the
fresh meat to me?
Sincerely,
Arthur Dent
Director
Klingon Meat Trading
From: Tommy Mark
To: Arthur Dent
Date: February 26, 2006
Subject: Re: Puppy for sale
THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL
I DO NOT KILL PUPPY I ONLY SELL DUE TO I ON A TRANSFER LIVE
OUTSIDE UNITED STATE THAT IS WHY I WANT TO SELL OUT MINE PET FOR
A CHRISTIAN PERSON THAT WILL TAKE HER AS A DAUGHTER SO ARE YOU WILLING
TO BUY A LIVING PUPPY?
THANKS AND REMAIN BLESS.
From: Arthur Dent
To: Tommy Mark
Date: February 26, 2006
I only deal in dead dogs, sorry. It costs more to import them alive.
I own an exotic food importation company specialising in Klingon
foodstuffs. We usually pay between $2,000 to $3,500 per kilo for
fresh dog meat, antelope meat, tribble meat and also, Mogwai meat.
Thank you for your contact and I am sorry you cannot help me at
this time.
Arthur Dent
Director
Klingon Meat Trading
Seems that Tommy can supply dog meat after all. What a surprise!
From: Tommy Mark
To: Arthur Dent
Date: February 26, 2006
Subject: Re: Puppy for sale
THANKS FOR THAT
WE HAVE DOG MEAT AND THEY ARE READLY FOR SALE BUT I CAN STILL
TELL YOU FLLOW WORKER THAT I HAVE SEE THE PERSON THAT IS READLY
TO BUY THE MEAT BUT UT IS TOO COSTLY AND IT CAN BE SHIPPED TO YOU
COUNTRY THAT IS IF YOU ARE WILL WILLING TO PAY FOR IT.
RERPLY AS SOON AS POSSIBLE,
THANKS AND REMAIN BLESSED
From: Arthur Dent
To: Tommy Mark
Date: February 26, 2006
Do you have dealers who also specialise in Mogwai meat? I recently
lost my usual supplier and am in desperate need of a new and reliable
supplier. Typically for good quality imported Mogwai meat my company
pay $2,700 per kilo (that is for the smoked Mogwai meat). I would
be very interested in importing regular supplies if you are able
to arrange this.
Get back to me with more information and prices if possible and
let me know a list of the different type of meats you can export
to me.
Arthur Dent.
Director
Klingon Trading Ltd.
It seems Mogwai meat is definitely on the menu.
From: Tommy Mark
To: Arthur Dent
Date: February 26, 2006
Subject: Re: Puppy for sale
Yes i have a dealer who specialised in Mogwai meat,i spoke to
him concerning supplying your company as you request.He export the
smoke and unsmoke mogwai meat at the rate of $2,550 per kilos.
He has different kind of meats he export to its customers.
Reply as soon as possible
Thanks and God Bless.
From: Arthur Dent
To: Tommy Mark
Date: February 28, 2006
Dear Mr. Clement,
My apologies for the slight delay in replying to you. I have been
meeting with a prospective client in Xanadu and only returned to
my office a short while ago.
I would be very interested indeed in purchasing regular supplies
of Mogwai meat however as your dealer will of course know I will
require an exportation certificate from the country of origin, and
medical 'fit for consumption' certificate which shows the Mogwai
meat is fit for human consumption. Without such certificates I will
not be allowed to import them in the UK. If your supplier is able
to provide me with these certificates then I see no reason why we
cannot do much business together. For my first order I would be
prepared to take 95 kilos.
Please get back to me as soon as possible, also please give me your
prices on the puppy meat that you said you could get for me.
Sincerely.
Arthur Dent
Director
Klingon Trading
From: Tommy Mark
To: Arthur Dent
Date: March 1, 2006
Subject: Re: Puppy for sale
thanks for your mail,
sorry for replying your mail late.I went to femmard fod company
to verity something from them and i gave them ypur information concerning
mogwai meat,They did a medical checkup of the mogwai meat in order
for me ,to know how good their foods are.And i was conrincd about
their stuff.They are the one who will send you those certificateof
exportation.
so here is the company email address([email protected])
so for the puppy meat the price is 2,200 per kio
to hear from you soon
thanks and remain blessed.
Before I even contact Tommy's recommended company, they get
in touch with me. Apparently his "certificate" is in the
form of a couple of sentences in an email! Actually as you'll
see, Tommy's company contact is actually Tommy himself. No two people
could produce written language so badly!
From: Lewis Seth
To: Arthur Dent
Date: March 2, 2006
Subject: The exportation certificate
REPUBLIC OF BENIN EXPORT COMMISSION
UNIT FEMMARD FOOD BENNE
BLOCK 7B BENNE ROAD REPUBLIC OF BENIN
DATE 29TH MAY 2000
DEAR CUTOMER
CERTIFICATE OF IN CORPORATION
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERD
THIS IS TO CERTIFY THAT FEMMARD FOOD HAS BEEN REGISTERED AS
A LIVESTOCK EXPOTER UNDER DECREE 202 OR THR REPUBLIC OF BENIN CONSTITUTION.
DATE OF ISSUANCE-29TH MAY 2000
NATURE OF OPRATION-EXPOTER(LIVESTOCK)
THIS IS THE ONLY FORM OF CERTIFICATE ISSUED BE REPUBLIC OF BENIN
COMMISSION.
THIS IS THE ONLY CERTIFICATE THAT ANY BUYER OF LIVESTOCK CAN
BE ISSUED WHEN BUYING FROM US IN R/BENIN.
FAMMARD
FOOD COMPANY SUPPLIES
DIRECTOR GENERAL
From: Arthur Dent
To: Lewis Seth
Date: March 2, 2006
Dear Sir,
Thank you for your email, however a livestock importation certificate
is of no use to me. I do not wish to import livestock, I wish to
import deadstock.
Thank you again for your email however I shall have to search for
an alternative supplier.
Sincerely.
Arthur Dent
Director
Klingon Trading
From: Lewis Seth
To: Arthur Dent
Date: March 2, 2006
Subject: Re: The exportation certificate
HELLO THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL BACK SOON YOU RECEIVE THESE MESSAGE.
THERE IS NO PROMBLE WE DEAL IN BOTH LIVESTOCK AND DEADSTOCK,AND
WE SHIPPED ALL OVER THE WORLD IF YOU WNAT TO BUY DEADSTOCK FROM
US THAT IS OKAY AND WE WILL LIKE TO BE ONE OF OUR CUTOMER AND WE
ARE TELLING YOU THAT FOR YOU FIRST ORDER WE ARE ONE THAT WILL SHIP
IT TO YOUR COUNTRY DIRECT WITHOUT ANY PROMBLE BECAUSE WE HAVE DO
THESE BUSINESS WITH MANY COUNTRY LIKE TURKEY,USA,CANADA.SPAIN,ITALY,JAPAN,HOLLAND
AND SO MUCH COUNTRIES LIKE THAT AND WILL WE WANT YOU TO BE WITH
US AT ALL TIME SO THAT YOU CAN GAIN MORE WITH US.
THANKS TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON.
From: Arthur Dent
To: Lewis Seth
Date: March 2, 2006
Dear Sir,
Thank you for your reply and it is good to learn that you also deal
with deadstock. Please do not forget to send me a list of the deadstock
that you deal in. We would be interested in the following deadstock:
Antelope
Lesser Spotted Gibbon
African Squawk Deer
Camel Humps
Kangaroo
Chucklefish
Three footed horseferret
Mancunian Haggis
Mogwai
Elephant Wings
Herbian Dog Liver
Albanian Cheese Hedgehog
If you have stock of any of the above meat products I would be very
interested, and also if you supply any other types of meat products
then please do let me know, along with the prices per kilo.
Regarding importing your products into the UK. I will need from
you a clearance/importation certificate for each meat type. The
UK C&E will not allow me to import meat from a foreign country
without this certificate. I cannot explain to you the exact contents
of the certificate because of course each country has a different
type, however the certificate will come from your country's exportation
department and have the meat product named and clearance that the
meat is safe for exportation and for human consumption.
I do not know if you have exported meat products to the UK before
but if not then please let me know and I can show you an example
of the type of import certificate we need.
Sincerely.
Arthur Dent
Director
Klingon Trading
From: Lewis Seth
To: Arthur Dent
Date: March 2, 2006
Subject: Re: The exportation certificate
hello i will like to know thetype of cetificate they need in
your country so that i can ship whose meat to you in your country,
to hear from you soon.
I send Lewis a sample of a deadstock importation certificate.
From: Arthur Dent
To: Lewis Seth
Date: March 2, 2006
Dear Sir,
Please find attached a copy of a standard UK deadstock importation
certificate. Of course your own country's export certificates will
be different but will probably contain similar information depending
on the meat products that you are exporting.
Please do not forget to give me your prices for the other types
of deadstock.
Sincerely.
Arthur Dent
Director
Klingon Trading
Tommy Mark gets in touch. He's obviously been "talking"
with Lewis!
From: Tommy Mark
To: Arthur Dent
Date: March 3, 2006
Subject: HELLO
HELLO
THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL,I WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT ALL THE INFORMATION
THAT YOU NEED FOR THE IMPORTATION AND EXPORTATION AND CERTIFICATE
DOCUMENT THAT WILL PROVE THAT THE PUPPY MEAT HAS BEEN CONFIRMED
FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION,BUT AS YOUR HAVE ALREADLY KNOW THAT I TOLD
YOU THAT I NOT A CITIZEN OF BENIN REPUBLIC I AMHERE ON A MISSIONARY
OUTREACH.THEY HAVE GIVING ME SOME CERTIFICATE BECAUSE ALL THE PUPPY
KILL HAS BEEN TEST AND THEY ARE ALL OKAY,
PLS I WILL NEED YOUR REAL FULL NAME TO FILL UP SOME DOCUMENT
SO THAT I CAN SEND IT TO YOU FOR SO THAT IT CAN BE CONFIRMED,I WILL
LIKE TO TO SEND ME SOME MONEY AT LIST $5,000 TO $10,000 SO THAT
ALL CERTIFICATE DOCUMENT CAN BE WELL DONE AND OKAY,IT IS DUE TO
I AM A FOREIGN IN THESE COUNTRY (BENIN REPUBLIC).
IF YOU CAN BE ABLE TO SEND ME THE MONEY BY THE NEXT 2DAYS ALL
THE CERTIFICATE DOCUMENT WILL BE SEND TO YOU SO AS WELL FOR CONFIRMATIONFROM
YOU.
THANKS
TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON AND GOD BLESS.
From: Arthur Dent
To: Tommy Mark
Date: March 3, 2006
Dear Sir,
My full details are as follows:
Arthur Dent HHGTTG
Klingon Trading Ltd
Middlebrook Retail Park,
Bolton,
BL6 6JA
United Kingdom.
Please note that my company do not send money until we have had
proof of the documentation. You can either mail it to us at the
address above, or send HIGH QUALITY scans of the documents by email
attachment. No payment shall be made until we have proof of the
quality of the meat products.
Sincerely.
Arthur Dent
Director
Klingon Trading
From: Lewis Seth
To: Arthur Dent
Date: March 4, 2006
Subject: HELLO BUYER
Hello
sorry for the delay in responses,thanks for the sample of the
certificate,what our company need from you is your the contact address
and information of your organisation and the phone number for easy
conversation.the mogwai meat is medical tested and its okay for
human consumption.Get to our company as soon as possible.
PHONE NUMBER...............................
COMPANY ADDRESS.........................
FAX NUMBER.............................
From: Arthur Dent
To: Lewis Seth
Date: March 4, 2006
Dear Sir,
My contact information is as follows:
My direct telephone number: +44 8707 65X XXX
My direct FAX number: +44 8701 31X XXX
My company address:
Klingon Trading Ltd.
Middlebrook Retail Park,
Bolton,
BL6 6JA
United Kingdom.
Now please provide me with your company's full contact information
also.
Sincerely.
Arthur Dent
Director
Klingon Trading
A few days later it appears my certificate are ready.
From: Lewis Seth
To: Arthur Dent
Date: March 9, 2006
Subject: Re: HELLO BUYER
HELLO ALL THE CERTIFICATE YOU NEED IS READLY PLS REPLY ME BACK.
From: Arthur Dent
To: Lewis Seth
Date: March 9, 2006
Dear Sir,
I confirm receipt of your message below.
Sincerely.
Arthur Dent
Director
Klingon Trading
Lewis seems to think he's getting payment up front. What a deranged
fellow he is.
From: Lewis Seth
To: Arthur Dent
Date: March 10, 2006
Subject: Re: HELLO BUYER
HELLO
WE ARE THE ONE THAT CALL YOU JUST TO TELL YOU THAT ALL THE ARRANGEMENNT
HAS BEEN READLY,WHAT WE NEED FROM YOU IS TO CONFIRM THAT THE MONEY
FOR YOUR BUYING OF THE MEAT IS READLY SO THAT I CAN SHIP IT TO YOUR
COUNTRY BUT WE ARE SORRY THAT WE WILL ONLY SELL OUT 70KIO FOR YOU
JUST FOR STARTING SO IT WILL BE EASY FOR US TO DO MORE BUSINESS
NEXT TIME.
FOR THE PAYMENT WILL LIKE TO SEND IT THROUGH WESTERN UNION MONEY
TRANSFER, SO THAT YOUR GOODS CAN BE SHIP TO YOUR COUNTRY.
THANKS TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON.
From: Arthur Dent
To: Lewis Seth
Date: March 11, 2006
Dear Sir,
I am still waiting to see the import/export certificates. I cannot
purchase anything without those certificates, so talk of payment
at this stage is a waste of time.
Sincerely.
Arthur Dent
Director
Klingon Meat Trading
A week goes by and eventually Lewis gets back in touch. I suspect
he thinks I may have forgotten about the certificates? Lewis is
obviously mentally retarded.
From: Lewis Seth
To: Arthur Dent
Date: March 18, 2006
Subject: Re: HELLO BUYER
hello i will like you to send me the sum of 70 kilos m0ney of
the meat. these is how to send the money visit any western union
money transfer and tell them that you will like to send some money
to republic of benin,cotonou these is the form you will use to send
it in.
RECEIVER'S NAME? YUSUFU OLALEKAN AFIS
TEXT QUESTION?
ANSWER?
AMOUNT?
MTCN...#
SENDER'S NAME?
ADDRESS?
WARNING: Bad language alert!
From: Arthur Dent
To: Lewis Seth
Date: March 18, 2006
I AM STILL WAITING TO SEE THE FUCKING IMPORT PAPERS YOU MORON.
ARE YOU READING MY FUCKING EMAILS??????
YOU WILL NOT RECEIVE ONE SINGLE CENT UNTIL I HAVE THE IMPORT/EXPORT
CERTIFICATES.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
Arthur Dent
Director
Klingon Trading
Just as I send the above email. My phone rings:
March 18, 2006: Lewis
Seth (and I presume Tommy Mark) - 1meg MP3
The guys got frustrated (as did I), putting the phone down on
me twice!
Incredibly, after the call above, and after they have received
my previous email, I received an exact copy of their last email.
From: Lewis Seth
To: Arthur Dent
Date: March 18, 2006
Subject: Re: HELLO BUYER
hello i will like you to send me the sum of 70 kilos m0ney of
the meat. these is how to send the money visit any western union
money transfer and tell them that you will like to send some money
to republic of benin,cotonou these is the form you will use to send
it in.
RECEIVER'S NAME? YUSUFU OLALEKAN AFIS
TEXT QUESTION?
ANSWER?
AMOUNT?
MTCN...#
SENDER'S NAME?
ADDRESS?
I decide to give a short and sweet answer.
From: Arthur Dent
To: Lewis Seth
Date: March 18, 2006
FUCK OFF.
Quite a few days went by and I thought I'd heard the last from
Tommy and Lewis, but then:
From: Tommy Mark
To: Arthur Dent
Date: March 29, 2006
Subject: HELLO
hello i am sorry the meg is not met for you, i will soonxet
send you the ceritficate.
Looks like this bait is going nowhere.
From: Arthur Dent
To: Tommy Mark
Date: April 3, 2006
Am I wasting my time with you or do you REALLY have meat I can
purchase? If you do not have it then just say so instead of keeping
me waiting. I have the full payment here of $42,744 ready to send
but it seems you do not want it
Please pull your finger out of your arsehole and get back to me
with your decision.
Sincerely.
Arthur Dent
Director
Klingon Trading
From: Tommy Mark
To: Arthur Dent
Date: April 3, 2006
Subject: Re: HELLO
hello
thanks for your mail i have dog meat only but the problem is
that i have know money that i will pay to the republice of benin
in africa before they can give me the importation ceritifcate so
if you have any idea to give that is okay by me ,thanks and God
bless.
From: Arthur Dent
To: Tommy Mark
Date: April 3, 2006
NO. You will not get one single penny from me until I have the
importation certificates.
It is obvious I am wasting my valuable time here. I shall return
the cash to the bank tomorrow.
Goodbye.
Arthur Dent
Director
Klingon Trading
From: Tommy Mark
To: Arthur Dent
Date: April 3, 2006
Subject: Re: HELLO
hello do not worry i will get the certificate ready by the next
7 days from now.
Nine days go by and nothing to show for it. I decide to contact
Tommy Mark's alter-ego, Lewis Seth.
From: Arthur Dent
To: Lewis Seth
Date: April 12, 2006
You partner told me more than a week ago now that you would have
the certificates ready to send to me, however once again you have
both failed to live up to your promises. Am I to assume that you
have both been lying to me all this time?
Arthur Dent
Director
Klingon Trading
Amazingly, Lewis sends ANOTHER request for payment!
From: Lewis Seth
To: Arthur Dent
Date: April 12, 2006
Subject: hello
hello i will like you to send me the sum of $242250 of 95 kilos
money of the meat.
these is how to send the money visit any western union money
transfer and tell them that you will like to send some money to
republic of benin,cotonou
these is the form you will use to send it in.
RECEIVER'S NAME? YUSUFU OLALEKAN AFISTEXT QUESTION?
ANSWER?
AMOUNT ?
MTCN...#
SENDER'S NAME?
From: Arthur Dent
To: Lewis Seth
Date: April 13, 2006
Mr. Seth,
Are you completely BRAINLESS?
I have told you MANY TIMES that I need the IMPORTATION/EXPORTATION
CERTIFICATES.
WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY do I have to keep repeating myself to
you? Do you understand SIMPLE English?
Over a week goes by and no reply from Seth. I guess he has got
fed up of the abuse! Lets try to smoke him out by pretending we
have sent some money to him.
From: Arthur Dent
To: Lewis Seth
Date: April 21, 2006
Dear Mr. Seth,
Payment has now been sent so that maybe I will at last get this
meat.
I had to split the payment into 4 payments. Details are as follows:
Payment 1: $5,000 MTCN 1036284346
Payment 2: $5,000 MTCN 1036284347
Payment 3: $5,000 MTCN 1036284348
Payment 4: $5,000 MTCN 1036284349
Payment 5: $4,250 MTCN 1036284350
Test question: Payment for?
Answer: Mogwai
Sender's name: Arthur Dent. London, UK
Arthur Dent
Director
Klingon Trading
The smell of money brings Seth out.
From: Lewis Seth
To: Arthur Dent
Date: April 26, 2006
Subject: HELLO
HELLO ARE SURE THAT YOU SEND THE MONEY BEFORE I WILL GO AND
COMFIMED SO IF YOU HAVE SEND IT BEFORE 3 TO 4 DAYS WE ARE GOING
TO SHIP IT TO YOU AND WE WILL NEED YOU TO SEND US YOUR CONTACT ADDRESS,
CITY,STATE NEARTEST AIRPORT SO THAT WE CAN BE ABLE TO SHIP IT TO
YOU.
THANKS
FEMMARD FOOD SUPPIES COMPANY.
From: Arthur Dent
To: Lewis Seth
Date: April 26, 2006
Dear Mr. Seth,
I have put the payment on hold until I receive the export certificates
you promised to me weeks ago. When I receive that then I shall authorise
western union to free the payment to you.
Arthur Dent
Director
Klingon Trading
From: Lewis Seth
To: Arthur Dent
Date: April 28, 2006
Subject: Re: HELLO
HELLO ARTHUR DENT
pls we are sorry for sending you a method of payment while
we have not send you the export certificate it is due to some internet
fraud but for now we are ready to do business with your company,
that money you send was not confrimed as there is no money in it,
but that is not our force for now we do not open our compamy every
saturday and sunday and you know that nextday to us is weekend by
monday to friday we will send you the export certificate,plsase
bear with us.
Thanks
I won't be holding my breath Seth.
From: Arthur Dent
To: Lewis Seth
Date: April 29, 2006
Dear Mr. Seth,
The reason that the payment is not confirmed is because I have
put the payment on hold until I receive the certificates that you
promised to me weeks ago. I shall await the arrival of the certificates
on Monday and once I have them in my possession I shall then clear
the payment.
Arthur Dent
Director
Klingon Trading
Hurrah! The certificate finally arrives. Are you all excited?
I hope not!
From: Lewis Seth
To: Arthur Dent
Date: May 1, 2006
Subject: Re: HELLO
hello this is the certificate of exportation.so we will like
you so send the money so that i can ship the mogwai meats to you.
The certificate (actual size):
Totally unacceptable, I think you will agree.
From: Arthur Dent
To: Lewis Seth
Date: May 2, 2006
Dear Mr. Seth,
Do you want me to send you this money or not? If you want the money
THEN SEND A PROPER SIZED IMAGE. You will not get a penny until I
have a LARGE, CLEAR image of the certificate.
Arthur Dent
Director
Klingon Trading
From: Lewis Seth
To: Arthur Dent
Date: May 7, 2006
Subject: Re: HELLO
hello these is the certificate in the proper size so i will
like to hear from you soonext.
Lewis gets the size right, but......
From: Arthur Dent
To: Lewis Seth
Date: May 7, 2006
Dear Mr. Seth,
Deadstock certificates are valid for 6 weeks only. Your certificate
is dated 2005 which makes it over a year out of date.
Arthur Dent
Director
Klingon Trading
From: Lewis Seth
To: Arthur Dent
Date: May 8, 2006
Subject: Re: HELLO
hello
That do you mean by the certificate is dated 2005 which makes
it over a year out of date.That certificate was giving to us then
are just about start to export to others country but now we can
ship to any country in these world with that certificate, so i will
like to hear from you soonxet.
From: Arthur Dent
To: Lewis Seth
Date: May 8, 2006
Dear Mr. Seth,
The date on the certificate is February 2005. Did you know that
we are now in May 2006 (TWO THOUSAND AND SIX)?
Deadstock certificates are only valid in the UK for SIX WEEKS after
they have been presented.
Your certificate is totally useless to me.
Arthur Dent
Director
Klingon Trading
From: Lewis Seth
To: Arthur Dent
Date: May 9, 2006
Subject: Re: HELLO
hello it is noy useless so for the shipping i will tahe care
of it, pls if you will like to buy it froom us okay to hear from
you soon.
From: Arthur Dent
To: Lewis Seth
Date: May 9, 2006
No. We do bit buy food that IS NOT PROPERLY CERTIFIED.
The certificate is useless. It is not worth the paper it is written
on.
The certificate is useless. It is not worth the paper it is written
on.
The certificate is useless. It is not worth the paper it is written
on.
The certificate is useless. It is not worth the paper it is written
on.
We shall NOT be buying anything from you unless you are able to
supply the correct certification. As you cannot do this I do not
expect to hear from you again. I have found another supplier in
Lagos who can provide what I want so I shall deal with him instead.
Arthur Dent
Director
Klingon Trading
To be continued...?
Sadly not. This particular pair of idiots never did get back
to me, which is a great pity as they were definitely comedy gold,
and I was so looking forward to more sparkling telephone conversation.
END.
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