Title: MORE TALES OF THE HOLY COW
Scammer Name: EVANGELIST OJUKWA DAMISA
Submitted By: SHIVER METIMBERS
Date: Thu, 30 Oct 2003 22:42:20 +0000 (GMT)
From: ojukwu damisa
Subject: Father Ted
Dear Father Ted,
greetings in the name of our Lord jesus Christ.Hope this mail meets
you in good health. I am Ojukwu Damisa,a knight presently living
in nigeria and i am looking forward to God to start my own little
ministry over here where the less previledged children can come
to know God. I am writing this mail to ask for any little help you
might be able to render.I am planning a crusade to hold 2nd week
of november.
I hope you respond to this mail and God bless you.
Evangelist Ojukwu Damisa

From: Father Ted Crilley
To: Ojukwu Damisa
Date: 31/10/03
Dear Sir,
God bless you, and I hope this email finds you well?
Please can you explain to me where you found my email address?
Sincerely,
Father Ted Crilley.
The Church of The Holy Cow

Date: Fri, 31 Oct 2003 19:05:10 +0000 (GMT)
From: ojukwu damisa
Subject: Re: GREETINGS
Dear Fr.Ted
Thanks for your quick response to my mail.How are you today and
your pastoral work? May God continue to strenghten you. I got your
address from a guestbook which i can't even remember the exact guestbook
while i was surfing the net and the Holy spirit ministered to me
to write you this is the reason i wrote you.
[That would probably be one of the 20+ guestbooks
I placed Father Ted's details into then!]
God bless you.
Ojukwu Damisa

[OK. Lets go through the now standard 'Donation'
bait and see what we can get]
From: Father Ted Crilley
To: Ojukwu Damisa
Date: 01/11/03
Dear Mr. Damisa,
God bless you and how are you today? Thank you for your explanation
of where you found my details.
Your letter has come to the right place. As you know, my name is
Father Ted Crilley of the Church of The Holy Cow. We have nearly
300 churches in our ministry.
I must say that you are working for a wonderful cause, and you
are to be blessed for passing along the word of God.
A little about our ministry: We are fundamental Christians and
Animalistic constortians. This means that we worship Almighty God
as all Christians do, but we also hold certain animals in very high
regards, as in the Indian faith, we regard the cow as the holiest
of God's holy creatures, hence out church is named The Church of
The Holy Cow. Every member who joins our ministry has a cow branded
with their name, this shows their faith in our ministry and also
saves this wonderful creature from being slaughtered for food. The
member's cow becomes adopted into the church and is saved from stress
and fear. All adopted cows are keep on our 200,000 acre ranch in
Florida.
I think I may be able to help you. You see, my ministry regularly
makes charitable donations to worthy causes, and after speaking
with my committee members, we are of the opinion that your cause
is indeed very worthy, and if you will allow us we would like to
make a donation to your cause to help you in seeing your dream of
a ministry become a reality. Hopefully you will also agree to forward
the word of God more easily.
Your case seems very worthwhile, and whilst we cannot donate very
large amounts because we have already made many successful donations
this year. The donation committee has agreed that we would be able
to send you the small sum of US $274,330 (two hundred and seventy
four thousand, three hundred and thirty dollars). We are usually
able to donate larger amounts but at the moment are funds are quite
limited as we are at the end of our financial year. This money would
be sent to you in a manner of your choosing, and hopefully it would
enable you to forward the word of God much more easily.
Of course, we do not send out payments without going through the
proper procedures, so if you would like to claim the cash, these
are the steps you will need to take:
1. The Church of The Holy Cow will send you a agreement form, which
you will have to complete and sign.
2. On receipt of the form, we will require a photographs of you,
or a trusted representative as proof of identity. You will have
to get a NEW photographs taken, holding two symbol of ours. The
two symbols we need you to hold are a logo of our church and bottle
or carton of milk (the name of our church). This proves that the
person in the photograph is genuine. Passport or other photographs
will NOT be accepted.
If you agree to the two conditions above, we will attach the agreement
form for you to complete, and then after that we will explain to
you what type of photograph we need from you. Please do not send
a photograph until we have explained how we want the photograph
to be taken. On receipt of a SATISFACTORY photograph, we will immediately
forward the $274,330.00 to you in a manner of your choice. Please
do not send the photograph until the donation committee have informed
me how they would like it to be posed.
Please let me know ASAP if you are interested in my offer Mr.Damisa,
and I will forward you the agreement for your signature ASAP.
May God bless you,
Father Brian Potter
The Church of The Holy Cow.

Date: Sun, 2 Nov 2003 05:32:29 +0000 (GMT)
From: ojukwu damisa
Subject: God bless you
Dear Fr. Ted,
Thanks for your mail. Infact i am very happy that your ministry
will help me in this cause and it will be my joy to send whatever
passport or photographs to you.
Please let me know how to proceed.
May God bless you.
Ojukwu Damisa

From: Father Ted Crilley
To: Ojukwu Damisa
Date: 02/11/03
Dear Mr. Damisa,
Bless you for your quick reply. Please find attached the following
images:
holycowchurch.jpg
This is a photograph of one of our smaller churches, which we opened
last month.
holycowlogo.jpg
This is the logo of The Church of The Holy Cow.
damisaagreement.jpg
This is the agreement form.
To qualify for the donation, you will need to do the following:
First you will need to complete and sign the attached agreement
form (damisaagreement.jpg).
Once you have completed that, you will need to get a LARGE and CLEAR
photograph taken of yourself. This is how the church would like
it:
You will need to print out the church logo as large as you can (holycowlogo.jpg).
Then you must find either a BOTTLE OF MILK or a CARTON OF MILK.
Sit in a chair and place the bottle or carton of milk ON YOUR HEAD
and also hold the picture of the CHURCH LOGO. Then get someone to
take a photograph of you in this pose. One you have had the photograph
taken of yourself with the MILK ON YOUR HEAD and HOLDING THE LOGO,
please send it back to me.
On receipt of a SATISFACTORY photograph and completed agreement
form, the church will IMMEDIATELY forward full payment to you in
the manner of your choosing.
PLEASE NOTE: It is VERY IMPORTANT that the photograph you send is
LARGE and CLEAR. This is so as to avoid any possibility of forgery.
I realise of course that the request may seem strange to you Mr.
Damisa, but it is because of this that the donation committee will
know that the picture is 100% genuine, after all, it may be possible
for a dishonest person to find a photograph of a man with a bottle
of milk, but it would be impossible to find one in the way we ask.
As you can understand, because of the large amount of money that
we will be donating, we have to be extremely careful with our security
procedure to make sure that only trusted partners receive the cash.
I look forward to hearing from you very soon.
Blessings,
Father Ted Crilley.
The Church of The Holy Cow.
[DAMISAAGREEMENT ATTACHED]
[HOLYCOWLOGO ATTACHED]

[Father Ted's lovely (edited) Church of The Holy
Cow]

Date: Mon, 3 Nov 2003 14:48:28 +0000 (GMT)
From: ojukwu damisa
Subject: acknowledgement of sent photos and agreement
Dear Father Ted,
Thank you for make it easier for me as i am not
too good at internet.God in his infinite mercy will continue to
bless you and your church amen.
Father Ted how do i send the picture to you?is
it by attachment will that be okay by you?.if that will do please
do let me know immediately.
God bless you.
ojukwu damisa

From: Father Ted Crilley
To: Ojukwu Damisa
Date: 03/11/03
Dear Mr. Damisa,
Please send the picture as an attachment. Please note that it is
very important that the image you send is LARGE and CLEAR so that
the photograph can be verified and 100% real.
You must ensure our logo is very clear on the photograph. The committee
(seven people) will view the image you send, and if it is passed
as acceptable and genuine then the money can be awarded to you ASAP.
If you have any further questions, please feel free to ask.
God bless you,
Father Ted Crilley.
The Church of The Holy Cow.

Date: Tue, 4 Nov 2003 00:36:23 +0000 (GMT)
From: ojukwu damisa
Subject: Thank you
Dear Father Ted,
Thanks for the mail.I will take the photograph and send it to you
as soon as possible. With this donation i am sure i will definately
meet you one day. May God bless you and your ministry.
Ojukwu Damisa

From: Father Ted Crilley
To: Ojukwu Damisa
Date: 04/11/03
Dear Ojukwu,
Blessings to you, and thank you for your email.
Please be aware that our Donation Committee are meeting for the
final time this month very shortly. I will need your photograph
ASAP or there may be a delay of 30 days before your donation can
be discussed again.
Please let me know when you think that you will be
able to send the signed agreement and the photograph so that I may
tell the Donation Committee when to expect it.
God bless you,
Father Ted Crilley.
The Church of The Holy Cow

Date: Tue, 4 Nov 2003 04:08:45 +0000 (GMT)
From: ojukwu damisa
Subject: Thank you
Dear Father Ted,
The photograph and the agreement will be ready by thursday or
friday this week. Thank you and God bless.
Ojukwu Damisa

[The picture arrives!]
Date: Thu, 6 Nov 2003 11:02:55 +0000 (GMT)
From: ojukwu damisa
Subject: Re: Thank you
Dear Father Ted,
The following in the attachment is the agreement and the picture.The
picture is clear but after scanning it the church LOGO is not as
clear on the picture as the original copy.
With the fund your ministry is donating i am planning
to establish a center where the less previledged can come and feel
at home and to teach them more about the HOLY COW CHURCH once you
enlighten me more about your church. I am very sure people will
be willing to learn about your ministry and i pray that once the
donation is granted i will get to meet you one day. Olease respond
as soon as you recieve the picture and the agreement.
God bless.
Ojukwu Damisa

[The Agreement]

[The idiot]
Sadly the picture I sent to Mr. Damisa didn't
appear clearly (as he mentioned) so for the benefit of you readers,
here is the image I sent to him:


[I'll let him wait a while for my reply...]
Date: Fri, 7 Nov 2003 17:55:43 +0000 (GMT)
From: ojukwu damisa
Subject: Respond
Dear Father Ted,
Respond if you have gotten the picture and the agreement.
Ojukwu Damisa

From: Father Ted Crilley
To: Ojukwu Damisa
Date: 07/11/03
Subject: ** OUT OF MY OFFICE **
** THIS IS AN AUTOMATED REPLY **
Dear Sir/Madam,
Thank you for your email but I am afraid The Church of The Holy
Cow does not open on Fridays (It is our day of rest).
I shall answer you email as soon as I return to my office.
Blessings,
Father Ted Crilley.
The Church of The Holy Cow.

Date: Sun, 9 Nov 2003 04:48:26 +0000 (GMT)
From: ojukwu damisa
Subject: Father Ted
Dear Father Ted,
How are you today? Hope there is no problem? I have not hear from
you for sometimes now. My address is:
Ojukwu Damisa
i/c:Raymond
No 5 Adewumi Street,Felele,Challenge
Ibadan, Nigeria.
Please i will like to recieve the brochure and other informations
relating to the Church of the Holy Cow.
Father Ted, If i can get this donation soon i am planning of building
a shelter for the less previledged and children so that smile can
be on their faces for the new year, and also to buy a big bus that
will help carry these people around the villages when coming to
the ministry.The plan is also to introduce them to the church of
the Holy Cow as soon as i get the brochure and have learned more
about your ministry.
God bless.
Ojukwu Damisa

From: Father Ted Crilley
To: Ojukwu Damisa
Date: 09/11/03
Dear Mr. Damisa,
My apologies for the late reply. I have been away on church business
and this has taken me longer than expected.
I would like to thank you very much for the photograph you have
sent to me, and I am pleased to tell you that the Donation Committee
have accepted it. We shall make the payment to you very shortly.
Please will you forward me the beneficiary name for the payment,
and also tell me how you would like to receive the payment?
Damisa, there is one last thing I will need to request from you.
As I said before, I have been away on church business, and it was
because we have had to process our donations in a different way.
According to our ministry leader, the reverend Vincent Price, some
church funds have been sent to the wrong people, so unfortunately,
it is required that before we can send you a payment that you need
to scan for me a HAND WRITTEN letters to thanks the committee for
their donation. I have attached the text that I suggest you write.
Also, please put on the end of the letter the name and address of
the person who is to receive the payment.
[TEXT FOR DAMISA'S LETTER INSERTED HERE]
Damisa, please ensure that this letter is HAND WRITTEN and then
scan the letter to us. Please ensure that the scanned image is large,
and that the writing can be very clearly read.
On receipt of the hand written letter, and the name and address
of the payee, we shall forward the payment to you immediately.
God bless you,
Father Ted Crilley.
The Church of The Holy Cow.

[I thought maybe Damisa would twig I was baiting
him, but lo and behold his hand written letter arrives!]
Date: Tue, 11 Nov 2003 17:58:54 +0000 (GMT)
From: ojukwu damisa
Subject: May God bless you/account informations and hand written
letter
[Damisa sends no text, just a scan of the hand
written letter]


Date: Sun, 16 Nov 2003 04:43:25 +0000 (GMT)
From: ojukwu damisa
Subject: Father Ted
Dear Father Ted,
How are you and the church of the Holy Cow.
I have sent you the hand written letter and the
account informations which the fund should be transfered but have
not heard from you. Hope the fund will still be transfered to me
so that i can begin the work over here.
Hope to hear from you soonest.
Ojukwu Damisa

[Time for Father Cosmo to leap into action!]
From: Father Cosmo Naut
To: Ojukwu Damisa
Date: 18/11/03
Dear Mr. Damisa,
On behalf of Father Ted I send my apologies for his late reply.
Unfortunately Father Ted has been quite ill for the last few days.
He has Saturday Night Fever and has been confined to bed. I am told
he will be recovered in the next 2-3 days and he has told me he
will contact you then.
Sincerely,
Father Cosmo Naut.

[Damisa checks is Father Ted is available]
Date: Tue, 18 Nov 2003 04:55:42 +0000 (GMT)
From: ojukwu damisa
Subject: Have not heard from
Dear Father Ted,
Hope there is no problem i have not heard from you.
Ojukwu Damisa

[No reply from Father Ted, so Damisa replies to
Cosmo's message]
Date: Tue, 18 Nov 2003 15:19:37 +0000 (GMT)
From: ojukwu damisa
Subject: Thanks
Dear Mr. Cosmo,
Thanks for your mail. God bless you.
Ojukwu Damisa
[Lets ignore him for a bit]

[Damisa fires off another letter to the ill Father
Ted]
Date: Sat, 22 Nov 2003 10:09:14 +0000 (GMT)
From: ojukwu damisa
Subject: I wish you quick recovery
Dear Father Ted,
How is your health? hope you are now better? I will wish you quick
recovery. I have started to gather some people to inform them about
the Church of the Holy Cow and they are very excited about it.
You are in our prayers everyday.
May God continue to bless you.
Ojukwu Damisa.
[Sorry Damisa. You'll have to stew for a couple
more days]

[Time to give Damisa some bad news]
From: Father Cosmo Naut
To: Ojukwu Damisa
Date: 25/11/03
Dear Mr. Damisa,
It is my sad duty to inform you that Father Ted Crilley passed away
in the early hours of yesterday morning. It seems his old body was
too weak to fight the Saturday Night Fever he was suffering, and
he died peacefully in his sleep. I am very sorry to bring you such
bad news.
I have been ordered by the Donation Committee to take over your
case, and I have been going through your emails to Father Ted very
carefully. I am sorry to have to tell you that Father Ted has made
a mistake with your case. Father Ted was very old, and at the age
of 87 he was getting very forgetful. Do not worry though Mr. Damisa
as the donation can still be sent to you, but I will have to ask
you to submit a different photograph,
I note that Father Ted accepted your photograph which you sent on
the 6th of November. Father Ted should not have accepted the photograph
as our church logo was not clear. The rules of the donation state
that BOTH images of must be clear, this is not the case with your
image. Unfortunately Father Ted made a mistake in accepting that
image so you will need to get a new one sent to us before we can
issue the payment to you.
I of course realise that there may be a problem for you to get a
clear image of our logo, so I will make another suggestion which
should result in a suitable photograph.
Please signal your agreement to have another photograph taken and
I will explain a more suitable pose to use in the photograph. Once
your new photograph is received then I have full authority to issue
the payment to you immediately.
Sincerely,
Father Cosmo Naut.
The Church of The Holy Cow.

Date: Tue, 25 Nov 2003 22:17:30 +0000 (GMT)
From: ojukwu damisa
Subject: Re: Father Ted
Dear Father Cosmo Naut ,
It is very sad to hear of the demise of father ted crilley. may
his soul rest in perfect peace.
I thought i would get to meet him one day.
Tell me how you will like the photograph taken.
Ojukwu Damisa

From: Father Cosmo Naut
To: Ojukwu Damisa
Date: 25/11/03
Dear Mr. Damisa,
Bless you for your prompt reply. I shall explain about the photograph:
It would be best for you not to use our logo again as this may not
appear clearly on the photograph, and I do not want you to waste
your time trying to take a photograph that may not appear correctly.
Here is a better plan: Sit in a chair, then take two bottles of
MILK. Place the bottles of milk to each ear (the left and right)
and hold them in such a position so that it looks like you are pouring
the milt into your ears. Please get someone to photograph you in
this pose and then send it to me for verification. As before, the
request may seem strange, but it is this very thing that will make
the photograph impossible for a unholy person to forge.
I must stress that the image must be very large and clear. Please
do not delay matters by sending a small image. Small and unclear
images will not be accepted.
I wish you well with your endeavour Mr. Damisa and I look forward
to receiving your image very soon.
God bless you.
Father Cosmo Naut
[Would Damisa really be dumb enough to fall for
that?]

[You bet your ass he would!]
Date: Wed, 26 Nov 2003 05:00:56 +0000 (GMT)
From: ojukwu damisa
Subject: Re: Father Ted
Dear Father Cosmo,
Thank you for your quick response. I will want to verify one more
thing .Do I only take the photograph with two bottle of milk or
do i take it with the image of the church also as i will not want
to make any mistake.
Let me know immediately sir,
Ojukwu Damisa

From: Father Cosmo Naut
To: Ojukwu Damisa
Date: 25/11/03
Dear Mr. Damisa,
Thank you for being sensible enough to check with me. It is good
to see that you are making a good effort to proceed correctly. I
will explain a little more clearly for you.
1. Sit in a chair.
2. Hold a bottle of MILK in your RIGHT hand.
3. Hold a bottle of MILK in your LEFT hand.
4. Hold one bottle to your RIGHT ear so that it looks like you are
pouring it in your RIGHT ear.
4. Hold the other bottle to your LEFT ear so that it looks like
you are pouring it in your LEFT ear.
Have your photograph taken in this position.
I hope that explanation is clear for you Mr. Damisa?
There is no need for you to show the church logo, but if you can
find a way to display the logo at the same time then I am sure the
donation committee will look on this very favourably.
Take care my friend,
Father Cosmo Naut.

Date: Wed, 26 Nov 2003 20:57:14 +0000 (GMT)
From: ojukwu damisa
Subject: Re: Father Ted
Dear father cosmo,
Thanks for your mail. I will have the photograph ready by nextweek
monday.
God bless you and the church.
Ojukwu Damisa

[Monday arrives. Damisa sends his picture]
Date: Mon, 1 Dec 2003 17:43:44 +0000 (GMT)
From: ojukwu damisa
Subject: Re: Father Ted
Dear Father Cosmo,
Below in the attachment is my picture.
God bless.
Ojukwu Damisa

I'm probably milking Damisa too much now (I know,
BAD pun!)

UPDATE:
Sadly, though I replied to him, Damisa never got
back in touch with me.
END.
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