Title: THE TALE OF THE HOLY COW
Scammer Name: JOHN WALKER
Submitted by: SHIVER METIMBERS
No messing about. A scammer comes straight out and asks for
cash. I can respect that. Doesn't mean I can't mess with the idiot
though!
From: "John Walker" <[email protected]>
Date: Mon, 29 Sep 2003 05:59:28 -0700
Subject: Raising Moses's hand
Dear Brethen,
May the peace of God the father, the Son and the Holy Spirit
be with you all.
We are a non profit organisation resides in part of Afica. Our
organisation's name is Moses's Hand Foundation.
We've decided to erased child abuse and some other things which
make the youths to be idles.
Our recent research made us to realised that many youths in
Africa were initiated to be a frauders, they don't have any good
intention or any room for the Lord in their hearts. When you asked
them, they have some reasons which might be "genuine"
in their own eyes but in God's eyes there are no excuse.
This Foundation now decided to stand on it's feet believing
that it will get a good support from International countries to
say no to Child Abuse and change the mind of youths for Christ.
We decided to have a National Seminars for youth and som e other
programmes that will make these youths to know that if they can
study and work and trust God they can do good in the land by not
stealing or do frauding all around.
Brethen, we need your assistance, either in monetary terms or
materials. Your assistance may be some christian books that we can
give these people after this program. whatsoever.
Let's join hands to say no child abuse in any form, prostitutions
and stealing and frauding in any form.
Remember that our Moses needed somebody to raise his hand so
that victory can be sure.
We shall be glad to read from you if you want to assist us financially
or materially.
Shalom
Best Regards
Bro. John Walker
From: Rev. Covered Inpiss
To: [email protected]
Dear Mr. Walker,
Thank you for your letter, which has been gratefully
received.
Sir, I have some good news for you, it appears you
have some to the right place to get what you deserve;
I am happy to tell you that as a benefactor of many charity cases
here in the UK I will be happy to send a monetary donation to you,
however, there are formalities that must be adhered to before I
can offer you such help.
Firstly, some information about myself; I am a man of God myself.
My title is Reverend Covered Inpiss. I run my small church, and
we are fundamental Christians and Animalistic Anglicans. This means
that we worship Almighty God as all Christian do, but we also hold
certain animals in very high regard. As in the Indian faith, we
regard the cow as the holiest of God's holy creatures, hence our
church is named The Church of The Holy Cow (Amen).
Every year our church donates many thousands of Dollars to worthwhile
cases, and during a meeting of our councillors I discussed your
cause with them. All agreed that your cause was worthy and just,
so it has been decided that we will be able to donate some funds
to help your Moses's Hand Foundation.
For the moment we are only able to offer a small sum of $52,000.00
(Fifty two thousand Dollars), but providing you use this amount
wisely, I see no reason not to help you further at a later date.
[A pitiful sum I know, but I guess a little more than John was
expecting to screw out of me in the first place!]
As we are a registered charity, of course certain paperwork has
to be completed to arrange this cash payment to you. Please signal
your agreement to filling out the required forms and I shall forward
them to you for your completion and signature. Once we have received
your completed forms we will then forward the donation to you in
a manner which best suits you.
I hope that meets with your Agreement?
Sincerely,
Reverend Covered Inpiss.
Date: Tue, 30 Sep 2003 08:30:35 -0700 (PDT)
From: Moses Hand <[email protected]>
Subject: We are ready to put our hands on the agreement form
dear Covered Inpiss
Thank you my reverend. I just came back from the
outreach so decided to check my mails. All hands are on desk sir.
We so much grateful for all your effort to make this worth while.
However, we agreed toi put our hand in agreement of whatsoever.
Since we all believe in one faith.
I hope to see the form for the completion because the work has
to be done.
My regards to all your committe sir.
Yours in His Service
John Walker
From: Rev. Covered Inpiss
To: [email protected]
Dear Mr. Walker.
How are you this morning sir? I hope you are well? BLESS YOU.
Please find attached the agreement form which you need to complete.
It is very simple; just fill in the blank areas then sign and date
it.
To complete this process, and of course be awarded the $52,000.00
you will then need to provide your photograph holding our church
logo. The image of our church logo will be provided on receipt of
your complete agreement form. As soon as we receive a suitable photograph,
you will then need to nominate your preferred payment method, and
also the name that you wish the payment to be made to.
Please note that it is a requirement of the agreement that you
must supply your (or a representatives) photograph holding our church
logo. This will be used as proof that the payment will be going
to a church nominated benefactor.
Please fill in the completed form and signal your agreement to
the photograph, and then we will forward the image for you.
My best regards,
Rev. Covered Inpiss.
Date: Wed, 1 Oct 2003 14:55:39 -0700 (PDT)
From: Moses Hand <[email protected]>
Subject: Agreement form/John Walker & the representatives
My lord inpiss,
How are you sir and how is everything with the
church of holy cow.
Sir, I have attached by the agreement form, including the my
photograph.
Sir, Would you send an Identity card to us which will bear your
logo? And let me know if it will be this card that we shall use
to collect the money.
However, We've decided to receive this money, by Western Money
Union Transfer.[Surprise surprise] And kindly
send us all
the information we shall need for the receivement.
Thanks and hope to read from you
Mr John Walker
The signed Agreement.
John Walker's attached pic.
From: Rev. Covered Inpiss
To: [email protected]
Dear Mr. Walker,,
Thank you for your completed form, which meets with our approval,
BLESS THE LORD JESUS!
Now the last stage as described in my last email to you. Please
find attached our church logo. You will need to have your photograph
taken holding this logo. This is a requirement as described in the
agreement (AMEN).
Please read carefully: You will need to send us a photograph of
yourself, or a representative holding this logo. The photograph
must be LARGE and CLEAR. Small or unsuitable images will not be
accepted. Please ensure our logo is printed out as large as possible
for clarity. Please ensure that the image is acceptable so that
there will be no delay in forwarding the payment to you.
If you need further instructions, please do not hesitate to contact
me.
GOD BLESS YOU MY SON,
Rev. Covered Inpiss.
[The church logo]
Date: Thu, 2 Oct 2003 15:02:18 -0700 (PDT)
From: Moses Hand <[email protected]>
Subject: Thank you sir
my lord inpiss,
Thank you once again. It is my pleasure to write
you sir.
We have done it accordingly. So expect it in some hours time.
Thank you for your support.
John Walker
Date: Fri, 3 Oct 2003 09:34:44 -0700 (PDT)
From: Moses Hand <[email protected]>
Subject: pciture of representative
Rev. inpiss,
Thank you for your support. The attached picture
is the picture of the representative with the logo our church of
the holy cow.
Kindly find the attached picture and view if we meet the picture
requirement.
Thank you and God bless you
Yours
John Walker
[John attaches what is I suspect a doctored picture!]
[The Reverend's right-hand man isn't going to
be happy with this....]
From: Phil A. Holein (Donation Committee) Carson
To: [email protected]
Ref: Moses Hand Foundation - Donation No. 11423/AE/3316
Dear Sir,
My name is Phil A. Holein, and I am the head of the Church of The
Holy Cow's donation committee.
Reverend Inpiss passed on your photograph to me for inspection
before the $52,000.00 donation can be submitted.
It seems that you have misunderstood the instructions given to
you by the good reverend. I shall explain:
The condition of being awarded the cash amount is entirely dependant
on you supplying a photograph of yourself OR a trusted representative,
holding a sign containing the picture of the Church of The Holy
Cow. This means that you need to get the Church of The Holy Cow
picture PRINTED OUT, and then have a photograph taken of yourself
OR a trusted representative holding it.
I am afraid the images that you have sent this evening are entirely
unacceptable, as you have just copied and pasted the church picture
over the top of another picture (technically called a composite
image, or more generally, a forgery). This is not the same as printing
out the image and having yourself photographed holding it.
Please note that until we receive the image in the manner we described
then we cannot release the funds.
Sincerely,
Phil A. Holein.
Donation Committee.
Date: Fri, 3 Oct 2003 16:13:16 -0700 (PDT)
From: Moses Hand <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: Ref: Moses Hand Foundation - Donation No. 11423/AE/3316
Dear Mr Phil,
It is my pleasure once again. I quite appreciate
all your effort to make our vision worthwhile.
Sir, truly speaking we technically pasted the logo of the church
of holy cow and this is the reason behind this:
The film did not clear very well and the logo this not appear
as it ought to be, and we now decided that since this thing did
not clear then let's look for another option so that we can send
the representaives picture ASAP.
However, for verification and truth of what I am saying check
the original picture of our representatives that we sent to you.
[They attached a pic, which did indeed look washed out, so I
forgive them!]
You will discovered that the logo did not clear very well. Sir,
at this point try to check the picture I am sending to you very
well and let us know if you accept it, if not, then we shall look
for a professional photograpy company to let us do this asap.
Thank you my good reverend
Best Regards
John Walker
From: Phil A. Holein (Donation Committee) Carson
To: [email protected]
Dear Mr. Walker,
Thank you for your email, your explanation is appreciated.
Sir, I am sorry, but you will have to try to get the photograph
taken correctly. The decision is not up to only me, but a group
of the church donation committee, and they are insistent that the
funds cannot be released until a satisfactory image is received.
If it makes it easier for you, you may try to draw/copy the image
onto a larger sign that may photograph more clearly.
I thank you again for your explanation, and I look forward to receiving
a new image.
Kindest regards,
Phil A. Holein.
Date: Sat, 4 Oct 2003 12:47:15 -0700 (PDT)
From: Moses Hand <[email protected]>
Subject: Donation No. 11423/AE/3316 Representatives Pix
Sir Holein,
It is my pleasure and I am gald to inform you that this picture
is as clear and large as well.
I hope to read from you and collect the information to receive
the said funds.
I hope to read from you soonest
Thank you sir
John Walker
[John attaches a huge 2600 pixel wide image,
which I have resized to conserve site bandwidth!]
From: Rev. Covered Inpiss
To: [email protected]
Dear Mr. Walker,
Congratulations! I can confirm that Mr. Phil A. Holein has passed
the image to me and it has been accepted as fulfilling our requirements.
BLESS YOU MY BROTHER!
Please confirm to me both the full name, address and manner of
payment you would like. I am afraid that is it is now the weekend,so
it will be Monday before we can make the payment.
My congratulations again sir (AMEN).
Sincerely,
Rev. C. Inpiss.
Date: Sun, 5 Oct 2003 00:55:26 -0700 (PDT)
From: Moses Hand <[email protected]>
Subject: Fund Receiver's Information Donation No. 11423/AE/3316
Good Reverend.
We thank you once again for all your support, may the good Lord
bless you real good.
Sir, the the treasurer who happened to be in charge of finances
and funds for the organisation is presently on outreach to Chad.
So we decided to send the information of the financial secretary
as the receiver of the fund (if allowed).
The information of our financial secretary goes thus:
MR. AWONUSI OLALEKAN
FULL ADDRESS: NO.12 PRINCE BABAYALE STREET, OFF FELELE
RAB, IBADAN, Oyo State, Nigeria.
Note:we would appreciate if the fund can be sent to the closest
western union transfer bank ( Ogba Branch of First Bank Nigeria,
Lagos State) which is closest to our head office.
Sir, kindly send the necessary information that may be useful
to the receiver.
Thank you
Yours
John Walker
From: Rev. Covered Inpiss
To: [email protected]
Dear Mr. Walker,
Bless you for your email with the payment details.
I will arrange for the Western Union Payment to be made tomorrow
morning (Monday) and I will send you a copy of the payment receipt
as well as the control number and question/answer.
I do not know if it is possible to nominate a specific W.U. office,
but I shall ask and I will do it if I can.
I will contact you as soon as the [fictitious] payment has
been made (AMEN).
May God bless your gonads,
Rev. C. Inpiss.
From: Rev. Covered Inpiss
To: [email protected]
Dear John,
I am writing to let you know that the donation payment has now
been made, please find attached the payment receipt.
Western Union have told me that because of the large payment, you
will need to bring your passport to the collection office when collecting
the funds.
Here are more details:
The control number is: 3570042100 If you are asked, the secret
question is: WHAT IS IT ROBIN? The password answer is: HOLY COW
BAT MAN.
If you have any problems, please get back to me. [I have a feeling
John will be getting in touch rather soon!]
Sincerely,
Rev. Covered Inpiss.
Date: Mon, 6 Oct 2003 10:09:12 -0700 (PDT)
From: Moses Hand <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: Fund Receiver's Information Donation No. 11423/AE/3316
Rev,
I received the confirmation of the payment. And I have sent
to one of our member which will definetly go to the bank to receive
it. [Your member will definitely not receive it!]
May the good God be with you. In fact I don't know I can appreciate
this to you. But when we finish all the project at hand, I will
try to copy you all the things we've done to you.
However, we will be happy if you can welcome us to your midst
one of these day.
Thank you
John Walker
[Seems the bank have problems with my payment]
Date: Tue, 7 Oct 2003 05:24:18 -0700 (PDT)
From: Moses Hand <[email protected]>
Subject: Payment options Donation No. 11423/AE/3316
Dear Reverend,
The receiver went to the bank as directed, but unfortunately
they did not pay the receiver the amount expected. Please notify
the bank you sent the payment through about this.
However, they said the amount is too much to be paid at once
in any of the branches here.
So they adviced if you can retrieve the money back from the
bank and send it bit by bit (send $8,000 consecutively through the
same receipient.)
I will like to read from you ASAP.
Can you please give me the actual time that I can call you without
answering machine? Or you call me 234-1-4926527
Thank you
Mr John Walker
From: Phil A. Holein (Donation Committee) Carson
To: [email protected]
Dear Mr. Walker.
This is Phil A. Holein of the Church of The Holy Cow's Donation
Committee.
I am disturbed that you did not receive the payment. I was not
told that there would be problems when I made the payment at my
local bank, the Royal Bank of Scrotums.
I tried to call you on the number you gave, but I could not get
through. I asked the operator to connect me also, but I was told
there were network problems and I cold not be connected. I will
contact my bank and see what I can do for you if I can be bothered.
Please telephone me on my direct UK telephone number of (United
Kingdom) 044 7092 037 387 to discuss these matters.
Sincerely,
Phil A. Holein.
Date: Tue, 7 Oct 2003 06:19:06 -0700 (PDT)
From: Moses Hand <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: Ref. Donation No. 11423/AE/3316
Thank you
But we shall be glad if you can do it ASAP so that
it can meet our proposed plan.
The receiver's information still remains.
Thank you
Note:
Please make enquiries about the payment in W.U. Office ASAP
[John Walker contacts the good Reverend Covered
Inpiss]
Date: Tue, 7 Oct 2003 11:14:31 -0700 (PDT)
From: Moses Hand <[email protected]>
Subject: urgent Attention Ref. Donation No. 11423/AE/3316
CC: Rev holein
Rev. Inpiss,
Sir, I have mailed Rev. Holein about the issue of non receiving
the payment here.
I delibrately mailed you again because you are the one that
went to pay the said amount.
There would be a National Work Boycott here this week, and we
don't want this to disturb our project, so we beseech you that you
should please do something ASAP.
I have contacted Rev Holein and he said he would do something
about it.
here they Insisted here that $52,000.00 is too large to pay,
and they said the only option is too receive this money bit by bit
(which means we can only receive at most $8,000) installmentally.
i am afraid good reverend because the receiver's information
have been collected, along with all necessary information e.g Security
text/answer. So this bothered us so much, and we need your response.
I am still expecting his mail yet. Please once again.
I would be waiting anxiously to get your reply.
thank you
John Walker
[There's trouble brewing. The Rev. Inpiss seems
to have gone missing]
From: Phil A. Holein (Donation Committee) Carson
To: [email protected]
Dear Mr. Walker,
Thank you for your email, and the contents are well noted.
I am sorry, but I have been unable to get in touch with Rev. C.
Inpiss for nearly two days now. I am a little worried, so I will
be making a personal trip to see him tomorrow morning and I will
see if I can get this situation sorted out ASAP.
Sincerely,
Phil A. Holein.
Donations Committee
Date: Thu, 9 Oct 2003 23:30:57 -0700 (PDT)
From: Moses Hand <[email protected]>
Subject: Reminder: Ref. Donation No. 11423/AE/3316
Good reverend,
Good day sir and how is the family.
How's your trip to Rev Inpiss?
We hope to read from you as all member are earger to
read from you ASAp
Thank you for all your communication and assistance
From: Phil A. Holein (Donation Committee) Carson
To: [email protected]
Dear Mr. Walker,
Sorry about the delay in replying to you. There have been some
worrying developments in the last few hours which I am unable to
share with you at the moment because the police have advised my
to keep my big mouth shut.
I will hopefully have some news for you shortly.
Sincerely,
Phil A. Holein.
[ I send some shocking news]
Dear Mr. Walker,
Sadly it seems that Reverend Covered Inpiss has deliberately
gone missing. I am shocked to discover that the reverend has also
taken a lover (strictly forbidden in our faith) and the police have
informed us that they have taken a flight to Scotland, which is
about 600 miles from our location. We have made many requests for
the reverend's return, but all have gone unanswered. His story has
been featured in he News of The World (newspaper clip attached)
so hopefully some news will come out of this.
With regards to your donation; we are trying very
hard to collect your payment from another branch of our church,
and as soon as the funds have been cleared I will try to make the
payment in the manner you requested.
Sincerely,
Rev. Phil
Donations Committee
[Inpiss makes the News of The World]
Click to enlarge (150k)
Date: Mon, 13 Oct 2003 12:29:05 -0700 (PDT)
From: Moses Hand <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: Ref. Donation No. 11423/AE/3316
Good Reverend,
It looks strange as well. I am suprised. But may the
good God be with all of us.
Ok, I wait for your response.
[I sense John doesn't believe me!]
[With many thanks to fellow baiter 'Fred Flintstone',
I find out that John Walker has tried to contact the News of The
World to ask them to confirm if the news story is true - Can't go
into too much detail here, but what I did was send this reply to
John from The News Of The World; with a fake return address to match
of course]
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Dear Sir.
I can confirm that this story did indeed appear in the Sunday edition
of the News of The World 12/10/03.
Faithfully,
Enquiries Dept.
[I wait a couple of days, then send John some terrible
news]
From: Father Ted Crilley
To: [email protected]
Dear Mr. Walker,
My name is Father Ted Crilley and I am one of the
members of the Church of The Holy Cow Donation Committee, and I
am also the press officer for our organisation.
It is with great sadness in my heart that I have to
announce the death of the Reverend Covered Inpiss. Apparently, the
reverend took your donation money and hid it away inside a cows
vagina (I am told they are very capacious). Unfortunately, when
the Reverend Inpiss tried to retrieve the cash, the cow suffered
a vaginal spasm and Reverend Inpiss was locked permanently inside
the cows vagina and suffocated to death.
Fortunately, Reverend Inpiss managed to withdraw most
of the cash before he passed on, and once we have it cleaned we
shall put it into the bank and forward the payment to you ASAP.
I am sorry to bring you such bad news, but hey, at
least you'll get your money!
Bless you,
Father Ted Crilley.
The tragic death scene of the most holy Rev.
Covered Inpiss.
[I didn't think that Mr. Walker would fall for
my excuse and photo, but it looks like he did]
Date: Fri, 17 Oct 2003 12:41:04 -0700 (PDT)
From: Moses Hand <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: Ref. Donation No. 11423/AE/3316
Thank you sir,
I got your mail and I quite appreciate it. It is a pity that
we still have a kind of person that is covetous among us, may God
forgive him.
Father, having said this, wewould appreciate if you can tellus
the specific date you will send this fund to us, since C inpiss
have caused a lot of havoc to this issue and this had disturbed
alot of programmes that we have ahead of time.
I would like to discuss this issue with Donationa committe and
to know the next step.
Thank you
Walker
[Mr. Walker has a change of email address and emails
me shortly after his previous message]
Date: Fri, 17 Oct 2003 18:11:20 -0700 (PDT)
From: Moses Hand <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: Ref. Donation No. 11423/AE/3316
Father Ted,
Good day sir. Howtings and thank God for everything.
Anyway,I am using this medium to let you know that 2 days ago
we discovered that allthe message we have received from you have
been hijacked by unknow person. We are yet to know who do this.
[That's a complete disgrace John. I wonder what kind of a twisted
person would do that?! ]
So for now, we implore you that you should please sending any
messages to this new e-mal address until you hear from us that you
should be using the yahoo address.
We hope that this changed does not bring any inconvenience to
you sir.And we would appreciate if you can inform Re. Carson and
other future people who might have love tomail us from your side.
Thanks
John Walker
From: Father Ted Crilley
To: [email protected]
Dear Mr. Walker,
Bless you sir, and how are you this day.
I am sorry to hear of the news of your email being hijacked, this
is very disturbing news indeed, and I hope you did not have too
much private (nudge nudge) material in the mailbox?
I do apologise for the late reply to your previous email, but as
you can imagine things have been extremely busy here. The police
have been questioning everybody and this has meant a severe delay
to processing your funds, however we will endeavour to have your
donation sent to you ASAP. I will try to get in touch with you very
soon to inform you how you can receive the payment.
My blessings.
Father Ted Crilley.
The Church of The Holy Cow.
From: Moses Hand <[email protected]>
To: Father Ted Crilley
Subject: Re: Ref. Donation No. 11423/AE/3316
Father Ted,
Good day sir. How far about police investigation, hope its not
getting tidious? Have they been able to find any fact or details
about the death of Late Rev.C. Inpiss?
We are still looking forward to hear from you and we hope everything
will be settle soonest.
Regards to all other member of your loyal committee.
John Walker
From: Father Ted Crilley
To: [email protected]
Dear brother Walker,
Thank you for your email, and I will try to give you some news.
I am disturbed that the police investigation is taking much longer
than anticipated. It appears that the death of the reverend C. Inpiss
may not have been an accident after all. The police have arrested
his lover Mrs. Doyle, and are questioning her over the death of
the reverend. Mrs. Doyle was arrested outside our church yesterday,
and I have attached a photograph of this disturbing event.
It seems that the polices suspect Mrs. Doyle may be herself responsible
for the death of the good reverend. When the donation money was
counted after the tragic accident, there was $7,500.00 missing.
After some investigation, the police discovered this very same amount
in Mrs. Doyle's bank account.
I hope you will appreciate that this is very disturbing news to
me indeed. I will try to send you more news ASAP and I do hope to
get the donation to you very soon.
Bless you,
Father Ted Crilley.
[Mrs. Doyle gets taken away. I made sure the
same pic of Mrs. Doyle was used as I put in the newspaper article,
that way John would recognise her. Not a brilliant editing job,
but it'll do!]
Date: Thu, 23 Oct 2003 13:51:54 -0700 (PDT)
From: Moses Hand <[email protected]>
Subject: Ref. Donation No. 11423/AE/3316
Dear Rev.,
Good day sir. How far about police investigation, hope its not
getting tidious? Have they been able to find any fact or details
about the death of Late Rev.C. Inpiss?
We are still looking forward to hear from you and we hope everything
will be settle soonest.
Regards to all other member of your loyal committee.
John Walker
From: Father Ted Crilley
To: [email protected]
Dear Mr. Walker.
Good news! I am happy to tell you that the full payment can now
be made to you.
Unfortunately there will be a slight change of plan. Because of
the police investigation, the Church of The Holy Cow has had to
put a hold on all electronic banking facilities, therefore I cannot
transfer the payment in the manner you require because of the modalities
of the investigation.
However, the good news is that I am due to visit one of our churches
in Nairobi (Kenya) on Wednesday next week, therefore, I can arrange
to fly directly to Lagos first, make the payment to you in cash,
and then take an inbound flight to Nairobi. This way instead of
paying the donation in small amounts, I can give you the entire
amount in one lump sum, I am sure you will be most happy to hear
this news.
There is one last thing that will need to be done before I can
come to meet with you. Because of recent tragic events, the Church
of The Holy Cow has ordered me to ensure that all modalities are
completed in a more secure way. The church have demanded that before
I meet with you, you must write out by hand a letter to the church
thanking them for the donation. Again, please note that this letter
my be hand written, not typed. If you agree to this, I will forward
you the details of what you will need to write in the letter.
Please signal your agreement to this and then I will forward you
the letter and my flight itinerary as well as my passport photo
so that you may be able to identify me at the airport. I urge you
to act fast in this matter as my flight leaves early next week.
Sincerely,
Father Ted Crilley.
D.A. The Church of The Holy Cow.
[John is starting to become suspicious I think...]
Date: Sat, 25 Oct 2003 21:05:01 -0700 (PDT)
From: Moses Hand <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: Ref. Donation No. 11423/AE/3316
Father Ted,
I got your mail. About your coming to Nigeria, that is great.
But don't you think travel to this big amount will be dangerous?
And do you think they will allow you take this in on your way coming,
at least they will do checking. What do you feel about this?
If your answer is no problem, then can send the format you want
it to be I mean the writing letter which will be like a letter of
appreciattion. But before then I need the following information
sir:
- the full address of the church of holy cow
- your personal picture and your international passport for identification
- supply me your valid phone number, so that I can call you for
proer arrangement.
Thank you for all your contribution
Walker
From: Father Ted Crilley
To: [email protected]
Dear John,
No need to worry about the money. I have special authority at airports
and customs lounges because of my ministry. All I need from you
is to ensure that there will be someone trustworthy to meet with
me at the airport who can guarantee my safety on my short stay with
you. I can arrange a VISA within 24 hours so this will not be a
problem. The police are entirely happy with my proceeding to visit
you.
My direct telephone number is (United Kingdom ) 044 7092 037 387.
If I am not home to receive you message, please leave your message
and details on my answer phone. I am extremely busy, so if I am
not at home please leave a message to let me know you have called.
Please note that because I get a lot of time wasting calls, you
will be required to leave a password phrase that will identify you
as a trusted caller. The password phrase for today is HOLY COW BATT
MAN. Batt is the name of my pet dog. Please repeat the password
three times for clarity. Please note that no calls will be returned
without the password code.
Please find attached my international passport image and a photograph
of myself with some of my church helpers and donation committee.
Once you signal you are happy with my information I will forward
you the text which you need to write, then scan and return to me.
Blessings,
Father Ted Crilley.
[Ted Crilley AKA as Max, from the great Phoenix
Nights!]
Date: Sun, 26 Oct 2003 10:49:31 -0800 (PST)
From: Moses Hand <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: Ref. Donation No. 11423/AE/3316
Thanks
However, let me see the letter u are taking about
From: Father Ted Crilley
To: [email protected]
Dear John,
Many thanks for your quick reply. Please write by hand the text
below, then forward it to me ASAP. On receipt of your text (hand
written) I will then book my flight to you and I will forward you
the flight booking details. Please also confirm your full address
by writing it at the top of your letter.
Blessings,
Father Ted Crilley.
[LETTER ATTACHED]
[John is asking for too much now. His suspicions
will have to be stopped in their tracks]
Date: Sun, 26 Oct 2003 12:55:04 -0800 (PST)
From: Moses Hand <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: Ref. Donation No. 11423/AE/3316
Thanks for the mail. Please sorry for the inconvenience.
I need a picture of wife, children and you are together.Then I will
forward the said agreement to you.
Thanks
From: Father Ted Crilley
To: [email protected]
Dear John,
Sorry, you are now being very incongrusive. [Don't know what
that word means, I just made it up!]
It's up to you; if you do not want the donation please let me know
and I will forward it to a more worthy cause.
Time is very short.
Ted Crilley.
[We're back on course]
Date: Mon, 27 Oct 2003 11:42:08 -0800 (PST)
From: Moses Hand <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: Ref. Donation No. 11423/AE/3316
Dear Rev Father,
really appreciate your concern for this foundation
i pray that the lord will bless u the more.I will
send the hand written letter to you immediately so that you can
pls confirm our dedication to your gesture.
We the entire foundation are expecting you very
soon.
Thanks.
John Walker.
From: Father Ted Crilley
To: [email protected]
Dear Mr. Walker,
Thank you for your email and I will contact you again as soon as
your letter is received.
Sincerely,
Father Ted Crilley
[A pathetic excuse follows]
Date: Mon, 27 Oct 2003 12:43:08 -0800 (PST)
From: Moses Hand <[email protected]>
Subject: tender....Ref. Donation No. 11423/AE/3316
Sir,
Please sir, we beg your pardon. We would not be able to send
this agreement letter (in hand written) because of our scanner that
just developed a fault. We are very soory for this sir.
However, we would like to tender this letter on your arrival
down to Nigeria to confirm our loyalty and appreciation to the church
of holy cow.
Sir, we hope that you have accept our apology?
Moreover, we would like to know if you are still coming on Wednesday
29th Ocotber, 2003. Or there is a change in a schedule. And if you
are coming, how can our representatives identify you? Tell us the
airline and other relevants informations.
We awaits your response
John Walker
From: Father Ted Crilley
To: [email protected]
Dear John,
I am sorry but I have spoken to my donation committee and they
will not let me travel to you until this letter is received. If
you cannot correct it before Wednesday then I will have to fly direct
to Nairobi and on receipt of your letter I will fly to your location.
I will be travelling with my laptop computer so I will be able to
keep in constant touch.
Sincerely,
Father Ted.
Date: Mon, 27 Oct 2003 13:42:02 -0800 (PST)
From: Moses Hand <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: Ref. Donation No. 11423/AE/3316
Ok sir. I will try all I could to send this asap
[No reply from John for xxxx. Time to ask what's
happening?]
From: Father Ted Crilley
To: [email protected]
Dear Sir,
It has been many days now since your last email. Am I to presume
that you no longer require this donation?
Please let me know ASAP as I have other people who would benefit
from this money if you do not require it.
Sincerely,
Father Ted Crilley.
[Finally the hand written document arrives]
Date: Sat, 8 Nov 2003 01:39:05 -0800 (PST)
From: Moses Hand <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: Ref. Donation No. 11423/AE/3316
father ted,
We are sorry for the lateness in sending this.
Please get the attached document for the appreciation of what
you are abou tto do
Hand written document
Sadly the document that John sent wasn't very clear.
All my attempts to try to clear it up failed to improve it much,
so here is a typed version of what john wrote:
"To the committee of The Church of The Holy
Cow.
Dear Committee members,
Ref. Donation No. 11423/AE/3316 Date: 26/10/03
My name is John Walker of the Moses Hand Foundation.
May I thank you for the gracious gift that your church is bringing
to me. I am a very cretinous man, and I bless the Lord for bringing
your contact to me. May the lord show you that I am a true wanker,
and that the church will fill my gonads with the holy milk of the
Holy Cow (Ermintrude). I promise that I will wank with this payment
truthfully and to the benefit of all good men. I pledge this in
the name of The Church of The Holy cow as I am a complete tosser
of the highest order. My intellectual prowess would pale into insignificance
compared to a holy flea.
Your generous donation will help to rid our country of Child
Abuse and the badness that resides in the hearts of our youths.
Indeed your money will be used very wisely, and we will trickle
it to almost sod-all within a very small stretch of time. We shall
create National Seminars for our youth's. We shall ensure they are
fully stained by semen and sent asunder for buttock testing and
sphincter probing.
Dear committee members, please be assured that your generous
donation will be wisely used, and for one nine will be how you shall
remember me.
My grateful thanks,
Signed,
John Walker."
Juvenile I know, but the point here is to make the scammer look
like an idiot!
[I try to get a better image]
From: Father Ted Crilley
To: [email protected]
Dear Sir,
I am sorry but the image you have sent is far too small and it
cannot be read. The writing and image is too small. Please can you
scan the image again in a larger size.
Sincerely,
Father Ted Crilley.
UPDATE:
Sadly, weeks have gone by and I never received a reply from
Mr. Walker. Either he twigged I was baiting him or he lost the will
to live!
I sent a reminder to him, but I was ignored (not for the first
time!).
END.
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