Any ideas for how to continue my first good bait?

[Punchbox]

A lad approached me with a scam email basically saying "we have your compensation fund ready to deliver and an impostor tried to claim it in your name". I asked what this was compensation for, and for the dimensions of the box. They refused to answer, and I kept persisting with questions about the fund, its delivery, payment methods, etc, so within the first 70 emails, the lad had began insulting me in pidgin not one, but two times. This wasn't even near the end, because both times they kept responding to my emails when I pretended not to know what the pidgin meant. I accused them of being unprofessional a bit, they called me stupid and a joker, but stayed on the hook. (Actually, the writing style changed a bit and they all of a sudden became more patient, so I think this might be two different lads)

Now, I was able to slowly argue through and eventually get the lad to abandon all the online payment options by having my character be an old man who doesn't even know what a google chrome is. I got them to give bank account details (which I promptly reported to the mods here), but now I have to actually get into delaying the payment. I've explained that I am a Greenlandic moose herder who needs to sell his moose to pay the full $2,000 delivery fee, but they're starting to just ask me to pay as much as I can. What suggestions do you guys have to get my lad nice and frustrated? He is really starting to emphasize that he "needs the fund today or tomorrow okay".

[B8er]

I'm sure that in Greenland it's perfectly normal to use a barter system, so why not offer to ship him a moose in payment of the delivery fee. When he refuses you could be offended that he doesn't consider your prize moose to be worth a mere $2,000

[jayhawk]

^^ Wouldn't it be much easier to sell your mooses ( or is it meese) to the Greenland army? They are paying top dollar for meese these days. Trying to build up their ground forces in preparation for a U.S. attack.

[crashhoot]

... but they're starting to just ask me to pay as much as I can...

This is a great chance to start negotiating. Would your lad accept $1000? I'm sure he would. But when three of your meese came down with chlamydia, the vet bill was $650; will he accept $350? Probably. But you forgot about the bill for the moose feed, that's another $225...

I once got a lad down to $10, but as I was headed to Western Union, I was mugged and robbed by a one legged midget hooker!

[Punchbox]

Thank you all for the suggestions! I decided to follow jayhawk's suggestion (he's my mentor) and I sent the following email:

What luck! The Greenland army is looking to buy meese to help defend against a US invasion. However, they are only offering 600 kroner/moose. I could sell meese for much more in other places. Should I sell the meese to the Greenland army or wait for a better buyer?

My scammer then responded:

You can sell the moose okay

Jayhawk suggested this to me in PM's to try to get another bank account from him:

OK, I will sell the meese later today, the Greenland army is now offering much more than I thought (1100 kroner/moose). I was thinking that I might want to send you a few thousand extra kroner to your personal bank account as a thank you for the wonderful service. Do you have a different bank account I can send this to? <probable mule name> is one of your associates I assume, but I want to send the extra money to your personal account.

The lad seemingly didn't understand, and said:

Before making the payment to that Ada Leban account let me know to confirm okay.

I tried to get the lad to understand:

Yes, but can you first please give your personal bank account so I can send around 3000 kroner for the very helpful service? I don’t want to have to make multiple trips to the bank. I’ll be delivering the money once I have sold the meese to the army.

He just simply didn't care, but sent me a message that warmed my heart immensely.

Have you sell the Meese?

De-education at its finest. I hope a potential victim will see the word "meese" someday and stop before they're scammed.

Next, I'm thinking of maybe being robbed as I go to pay the fee, seems like a common distraction method used here.

[jayhawk]

Have you sell the meese?

I laughed. I would think the army would want to inspect the meese to make sure they are of stout quality and their antlers are of sufficient width to mount the machine gun turrets. Payment will come after approval is given by the office of meece affairs. This shouldn't take more than a few days. You have strong meece and approval is a mere formality.

[bware419ers]

I sure hope nothing happens to those meese before they're sold...

[jayhawk]

^^ Or after the sale the old man isn't beaten inches from death by a farm hand who lost his job after the meese were sold.

[Kitty La Gore]

There is a secondary bid on your moose by Mister Smith Mark who is offering $4000 if you send him the $400 up front to verify veterinary claims. Your lad better act quick.

(Edit: even more fun ensues if you "accidentally" loop your lad in to your conversation with [Smith Mark] or whatever your other email addy name is and the lad starts battling it out with his competitor!)

[Punchbox]

These are all great ideas, if I am unable to use them for this bait, I'm sure Jen Borgen will return some day and be able to use these modalities to delay a bit.

A bit of time has gone on in this bait, and quite a few emails have been exchanged.

My response to the lad's last email was:

Apologies. The Greenlandic army has to inspect my meeses to see if they are adequately strong enough to mount machine guns on, as this will be necessary to defend against a possible US invasion. I have faith that the god Odin has made my meeses strong enough, so this should just be a mere formality, and in a few days I will have the money to pay you. Also, where are the bank account details for your personal account?

He completely ignored the first part of my email, swallowing it without question, and responded:

Will you send the money together with the fee?

I responded (still trying to get another piggy out of this guy):

Yes, I’ll send it to your personal account, once you provide it. I will do this as soon as the meeses are inspected and the Greenland army has bought them.

Now he seemingly thinks that "meese" is a word in both the singular AND plural:

Once the army buy them let me know okay.
When are they buying it?

I wanted to get the lad to do some work, so I introduced another character.

They will be purchasing the meeses as soon as the meeses have been cleared by the Army Office of Meese Affairs. This is taking an exceptionally long time, however, for some strange reason. If you would like, you can contact the director of the AOMA at <[email protected]> for more details regarding this, I’ve tried emailing him but it doesn’t seem like he’s answering my questions

The lad was seemingly quite confused by this addition of a new character into the mix.

You mean I should contact the Army director?

Well he is the director of the Office of Meese Affairs, contact him if you want to try to help me find out what is making this go on for so long. I’d love it if you did, he hasn’t been responding to my emails and I want to figure out why I’m unable to sell my meeses.

For a bit of time (5 back-and-forths), I haggled along with the scammer, and then he promised to email the other address, but he never ended up doing so. I asked whether he had emailed the address, but he didn't respond for two days. I again sent a worried-sounding email, and he didn't respond for two days, again. I decided it was time to throw him a bone, dropped the idea, and said:

I’ve been able to sell the meese today! I will be sending you the money soon. Where should I send it, how and when?

The lad was clearly excited by this, and responded with two messages, both of which were best-case scenarios for me:

How were you be able to sell it today can I know about it?

That message lets me go on a long ramble about the selling of my meese, which becomes very helpful for segueing into the next part of the bait that I have planned.

The lad's second message to me was:

Can you send to western union?

This warms my heart immensely. His bank account got shut down now, and he's desperately looking for a way to get more of Jen's money. Little does he know that some trouble is on the horizon. I ignored this message for now though, and responded to the first message.

It was a long story. Yesterday, late at night, I was called by the Director at the Army Office of Meese Affairs and they told me that they don’t need meese anymore, due to the fact that they are now switching to snowballs. This was quite distressing for me, and I immediately began looking for a way to sell my meese in a different way. By sheer luck, I found out that the Greenland Marines were also searching for meese, so that they could prepare their own naval invasions. I quickly sold the meese to them (they didn’t need to inspect the meese) and I now have the money.

However, this now brings me a concern. My farm hand, Feathers McGraw, has now lost his job due to me selling the meese, and he is very angry at me. Do you have any advice on what to do with him? You are clearly a very intelligent and professional man, so I really hope you can help me. After that, I will be able to concentrate my full efforts on getting the money to you. Thanks in advance.

This lad is a curious fellow, as shown below:

Why did he lost his job?
What happened?
Can you make the payment through western union?

The reason he lost his job is that when I sold the meese, there is now no more meese for him to take care of, so there’s no reason for me to pay him any more salary if he’s not helping me. He’s gotten very angry with me and even threatened violence against me, I hope he doesn’t follow through with it. What do you think I should do to calm down this situation?

The lad hasn't responded yet, but I think Jen's next response will be from the hospital room. The introduction of Feathers McGraw was jayhawk's suggestion, Feathers is one of his old characters.

Next, I think a detective will need my lad's help to figure out what happened to Jen.

[jayhawk]

Yeah Feathers!

[jayhawk]

The return of everyone's favorite psychopath. Thank you Punchbox for allowing me to contribute
It should be pointed out that most of the emails sent by feathers are probably nsfw.

howdy fule??  yu not no me but my name is feathers..  i wrecked for da old man in his muse farm untel da odder day wen he cums tu me and tels me he has sold al his mese and was now gonna sel de farm ..  he tel me he was gonna sel da farm tu pay de fee on a bunch of mony he got and now  becuz he now has no mor mese and he wants tu muve tu won of dos ilands were all da women walk arond wit tere tits hanging out..  i tels him dat sonds gud tu me wen du we leve...  he say not we feathers just me i is not taking yu wit me and yu nede tu find a nother plase tu live cuz i alredy sel da mese tu da armee so yu is owt of luk ok...  
wel fule let me tel u i was pesed..  i werk fur da old man fer ten yeres...  dat when he bye me frum da orfan home...  in al dat time du yu tink he evar treted me nise.. no he did not???  evary day it was da same ting  time tu get up and fede da mese feathers..  time tu clene da muse howse feathers...  if i did no du wat he tel me he wuld not fede me mi dinnar..  all ways da same ting ---- turnup supe... he all ways say feathers i wish i culd giv yu mot but times ar tuff..  so i dos al da werk and da old man jen he do noting..  it was feathers hu was owt in da frezeing cold shuveling muse shit.. it was feathers hu coldnt get lade becuz i always smel lik muse shit..  evar tri and get da smel of muse shit of yu..it unposible i tel u... even da local hos dey say sory feathers we wont fuk yu until yu stop smeling like muse shit..but i gets mi revenge...  da old man he was waving arond al DA MONY HE GETS frum seling his mese tu da armee and dats wen i hits him in da hed wit a skilet and noks him owt..  i den gos thru da howse and steles evary ting worth any mony...  da old man is stil noked owt cold so i desides it time fur me to get reveng on da meese...  i hate dem meses tu peeses..i den takes  to liter of petrol and i gose out tu da muse howse..  i spred da petrol al arond and wit da mese stil in side i lite da ting on fire it was a gloreeus site let me tel yu.  da flames kising da ski wile inside da mese were burneng and scremeing...  i just sat bak and injoyed it al...   i luv da smel of burning muse in da aftar nune....  it smels like vuctoree... i was gonna set da old mans howse on fire tu buy den i herd da wa wa wa of a popo car heding tu da farm so i has tu leve.. buy fule yu betar beleve i pawn al da old man stuf and i get plenty rich.. so y am i riting yu??  in da orfan home whwe i gru up da pingwins dat ran da place all ways toy us dat if sumwun dos sumting nise for yu yu shuld all ways tank tem... so tank yu fule??? yu is da wun hu told da old man tu sel da mese and tanks tu yu i now has enuf mony dat i can go liv on a iland ware da wemen walk arond wit dere tits hanging owt.  tanks fule????  i is now rich and yu is not...

[bware419ers]

Feathers!

[jayhawk]

Feathers sends him a poke. As usual, this is nsfw.

howdy fule it me feathers agan...  i see yu egnore my male but dats ok??  i did wat the pingwin tot me and sent yu a tank yu male so my wurk here is dun.  brandee says i shuld send yu money for helpeng us get rich but i tels brandee she suld shut up and no hur plase..  i is da man and i is da wun hoo tels her wat tu du...  she is da women and her job is tu du wat i says.. am i rite or is i rite!!!
hoo is brandee yu mite be askeng yourself..  wel fule i wil tel yu..  member how i tels yu tat after i hits da old man ovar da hed wit da skillet i gose thru da howse and stele evaryting of valu befor i burn down da muse howse!!  wel fule won of da tings i take is a beeded chane arond da old mans nek...  he all ways tels me it was made of finest silvar frum da north of spane so i nose it must be wurth sum big mony..  wel fule on this beeded chane was a loket.  i luk at da loket and if memoree surves me rite it red tu my preshus babee boi...  may dis always protek yu and kepe yu safe frum harm..  must hav  ben frum da old mans mama...da loket didnt seme tu be wurth anyting so i rip it off da beeded chane and smash it wit my bute..  i fense evaryting i stele in town ikcept da beeded chane..  dat i kepe... so i was in town walkeng arond whin i sees da ho brandee walking her normal strete cornar.. now brandee she i fine gurl wat a gud wife she wuld bee but i is not luking for a wife.. i id just luking tu get lade...  brandee she nevar fuk me beefor on accont of me allways smeling like muse shit..  i shows brandee da braded chane and says luk wat i has brandee...  brandee her i's gots rele big and she says  i wants da prety??  i says y dont yu shows me how much yu want da prety and get on yur nees..  brandee she gets on her bees and srarts CENSORED??  prety cule rite!!
wel fule brandee is CENSORED a way and rite wen i am CENSORED and says stop rite dere... i gots to no rite now...  befor we go sny farthar du yu luv mr!!  wil yu luv me foravar du yu nede me wil u nevar leve me wil yu make me so hapy for da rest of my life wil yu take me a way wil yu make me yur wife!!  wat ta fuk is dis rite!!!  dis ho now want me tu marreee  her!!! i tel her tu let me slepe on it but she kepe saing da same ting...  du yu luv me..  wil yu luv me for evar du yu nede me wil yu nevar leve me wil yu make me so hapy for da rest of my life wil yu take me a way wil yu make me yur wife!! wel fule i culdnt take it any longer lord i was crazed and when da feleing cum acros me like a tidal wave i started sweerng to my god aNd on my mamas grave dat i wuld luv her til da end of time...  i swore i wuld luv her til da end of time??  So yu see fule now i is not just rich but i is rich and mareed...  can u beleve it!!!  me feathers mareed??  and now my wife brandee says she wont fuk me until i send u part of are lute.tu say tanks..is al wifes like dis!!

Will Feathers mend his evil ways now that he is married. or will he and his wife Brandee become wanted fugitives with a large reward offer for information leading to their arrest? Are there any more Looking Glass or Meat Loaf sons I can include? Stay tuned.

[Punchbox]

I think it may be the latter, as Detective Sauron of Mordor has sent the lad the following message, nothing too crazy in this one:

Hello Sebastian Joseph,

I am Detective Sauron fra Mordor of the Nuuk police department. We are currently investigating the case of Jen Borgens. He was found unconscious in his home after being beaten on the head, causing him to suffer brain damage. Many quite valuable items from his home were stolen, and Jen's moose house was discovered on fire, with all the meese inside completely dead. We are attempting to investigate all leads, and Jen has explained to us that he was one of your clients in contact with you, while you were attempting to deliver a box to him. Jen is suffering from amnesia and can remember very little, but he knows that he disclosed many details to you.

If you are able to provide us with the necessary details to help us discover who did this to Jen and obtain a conviction, you will be provided with a reward of up to 426,904.19 kr. which is the maximum amount that we have received permission to allocate to this case. I hope you will be able to assist us in trying to discover who has done these despicable things to Jen.