I'm on a quest to get my first safari. But I realize that has gotten more difficult so I'll settle for some trophies. I have only limited experience with church scams but I'm going to take that rout in my quest for a safari. I'm putting together a website for an unusual church. It's a Christian church that additionally recognizes the sacredness of the Hawaiian goddess Pele (of the volcano) because of her role in creation (of land) and evidencing God's power. I still need to work on the theology a bit though. I built most of it today and plan for a January 1 launch so I have some to to polish.
This church does a lot of work in Africa, especially Liberia, Ivory Coast, Ghana, Togo, Benin, Nigeria, and Niger and has a mission trip coming up in March to distribute $2,000,000 to villages, organizations, and individuals. There are criteria of course including church membership (village resident, organization board member, or the individual beneficiary himself.
Of course the church has initiation rituals and that's where I need help. So far I have a few that seem to be reasonable. One is to cover your face in orange paint to show acceptance of lava's glow. Another is to pass trial by fire by holding open palm 150 mm (6 inches) over a buring candle for 10 seconds. They must also get 3 friends to provide hand written character testimony, provide a 3-4 page statement of faith attesting to their worthiness, recite our mantra “O wa tfu liam” (Oh what a fool I am) 100 times. And write on their chest "Pele is goddess" and leave it on for a week (picture every day).
I'm looking for other ideas. Any suggestions?
Those are mostly about trophies. My angle at running a safari is that the church ships a lot of stuff to Africa, especially used laptops so hopefully some lad will bite.
The web site is still a work in progress but a quite functional interactive honeypot already if I say so myself!
Ideas for church initiation rites
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CruelGecko
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Re: Ideas for church initiation rites
The Holy Lamb is always looking for new members. We have had success with having new aspiring pastors build us goats and tokens of worship.
church email is provided! contact me for details
church email is provided! contact me for details
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"you couldn't even give a half star service and you are talking of 5 star. 5 star my foot" - mr. Sunday after 2 safari's
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"you couldn't even give a half star service and you are talking of 5 star. 5 star my foot" - mr. Sunday after 2 safari's
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Re: Ideas for church initiation rites
Made me think about my first succesfull church bait, way back
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Re: Ideas for church initiation rites
Have the supplicant build a Volcano of Faith at least 2 metres high. Perhaps even suggest it has a small eternal fire burning at the top to represent the eruption that creates the land. I'm sure that Brother Vesuvius who's in charge of admissions will be happy to explain the exact dimensions to any lad that gets that far. Perhaps all of the Elders and Brothers of the church could be named after valcanos, Brother Fuji (who's obviously Japanese), Brother Etna, Father Erebus, ect. Good luck with the safari and trophy hunting.
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"Animal of your type" - Suggestions accepted
"Please go and hit your penis on the wall or you look for your kind i don't have time for big choppers." - Ouch!
"We give the rules here not you sir." - Of course you do laddie.
"We have never had to deal with a client like you." - Thanks for the compliment.
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Re: Ideas for church initiation rites
No baptism by fire?
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