Goofy crap your lads wrote

[Fatter Siam]

Oh dear, there's been another death in the family...

My husband name is Dickson Upyourbutt. I have not seen Betty Upyourbutt but my husband always tell me of her. Sister Betty Upyourbutt is my husband Nephew, and my husband always tell me about Betty Upyourbutt.

[b8enjoyer]

I got "Top of the Day to you" as an introduction in my current bait.

[jayhawk]

From Amella Fred, who is dying of cancer and wants someone to distribute her $54m to the needy.

First, this Isn't a *Hoist* and I want you to know that I didn't choose you myself, I've prayed so many times on my sick bed before I could contact you and I know the Lord God I serve won't mislead me, we are all strangers in the face of the Earth but equal in the presence of our Lord God, I don't have any organization in mind but today, I reed about an earthquake in NEPAL where many lives were lost, I cried a lot

Good thing my character runs the Rufus T. Firefly Home for wayward boys and can certainly make use of these funds.

[bware419ers]

pls try and send this money even if is $250,000 so i can settle my associate,i beg your feet.

[bware419ers]

I'm concerned about this transaction it looks too real to be true.

[Kitty La Gore]

I'm impressed with this lad's ability to capitalize nearly every word...

Hello This is Mr. Christopher Wray the FBI Director Your Package Delivery Was Approved Since The Beginning Of This Year, We (FBI) Has Instructed You Before To Contact The FBI specials agent Mr. Dennis Benson our Delivery Officer For your Delivery Without knowing You Didn't Contact him, I Was Surprised When I received a call From your Delivery Officer Saying That You Haven't Reached Them For The Delivery. You Have To Contact Mr. Dennis Benson Now For The Delivery Don't Delay Because That Package Of Yours Has Over Stayed In our Custody, Contact your Delivery Officer Now With Your Full Address For The Delivery The Only Fee you are to pay is $355.00 Only

and then he follows up with a suggestion my character intends to fully run with:

BARE IN MIND: Neglect Any Email You Get From Any Imposters Or Offices Claiming To Be In Possession Of Your Consignment Box or ATM CARD You Are Hereby Advised Only To Be In Contact With Mr. Dennis Benson regarding payment of fees, report all imposters and forward all their Emails here so we can Follow up on it.

[bware419ers]

I have on lad who must still be learning.

[06:39, 2/15/2025] Boss 2: Hello immediately make the first deposit then we take other steps okay, kindly be fast I am urgently waiting.

Regards
Mr Andrews
[06:56, 2/15/2025] Boss 2: Be checking on his reply!

I wonder if Boss 1 knows about this.

[bware419ers]

You should have to send the fee by Bitcoin, if you can send it by Titcoin, then I will send our receiving wallet address to you.

[Punchbox]

I have a bait going on, where my character is from Greenland, and the scammer has wasted a good few messages on locating greenland:

Is greenland an europe country

Is it near brazil?

[crashhoot]

... if you can send it by Titcoin,..

I am sure you will stay 'abreast' of the situation!

[bware419ers]

^^^Smells like a bust to me.

[Punchbox]

From Mr. Peter Alexandra: "The test of puddings is by ewing"

[oscarpiles]

Not sure if this is 'Goofy' but it does hurt my brain:

ATTN: VENORA IT WILL BE INTERESTING TO INFORME YOU ABOUT THE RECENT HAPPENING IN OUR OFFICE AS TWO GENTLE MEN CAME REQUESTING AND SAME TIME INFORM MY OFFICE THAT YOU DIRECTED THEM TO COME AND REPRESENT YOU TO RECEIVE THE APPROVED FUND OF TEN MILLION BRITISH POUNDS. KINDLY GET BACK TO ME CONFIRMING THAT YOU ACTUALLY SENT THEM. YOURS SINCERELY CALVIN SIN

[Yabadabadoo]

Looking back over some old baits, this one still makes me laugh as one disaster followed another over the eight-month bait. The Rev. Cy Fillis wanted to send funds to Mrs. Rose's new church, but there were continuous problems because the Rev. was possessed by a demon. On this occasion the demon chopped the funds the Rev. had mailed to an Italian bank (piggy!) and mailed Mrs. Rose to gloat about it.

I HACK UR BOX I EAT UR MONIS U SMALL TIME YAHOO BOI U NEVER GET MONI FESS U DON SWEEP DI FLOOR NA BI CAFE BOI RUN ERRAND, MAKE COFEE, SERVE WATER, NA WATCH CORRECT GUY MAN WORK NA CHOP MAGA SATAN MAK GOMERBOI ALWAYS DE KING OOOOOOOOOOOOO

Mrs Rose replies to the Rev. Cy Fillis:
Please I am sorry to inform you that someone else enter into my box, without my knowledge and start writing those nonsense, please I am not the one. I was rushed to hospital after reading this mail; I was unable to control myself and that caused my B P to rise high and when I was taking to hospital the doctor advice I must be admitted if I want to live, and because of the doctor advice I have to take treatment in the hospital there.
I read all what he or she write, and you will know that I am not the one that write such mail; I advise you to stop communicating with the bank in Italy again, whatsoever you are doing with them again is on your risk.

[Punchbox]

From a probably Asian lad to my fake lad character:

Yes I have receive your format and go through it very well, anyway it okay, but there are a lot of arrow in your English,