The Godfather: scammer upsets the mafia.

 

This scammer tried an unusual variation of the 419 routine.  He needed capital to develop rich mineral deposits in Nigeria (honest).  As the minerals he lists (albeit poorly spelled) are all industrial minerals, with the uses he describes, my guess is he has picked up a trade journal somewhere.  As we shall see, his knowledge of the subject proves to be rather limited.  As one who has some earth science training I could not resist this bait, I also laughed as he struggled with terminology he did not understand, and tried to impress with terminology no self-respecting geologist would use.

I speak hardly a word of Italian, but I guessed nor would he, and I was right.  My characters are all named after various Italian foods.  My comments are in bold, the scammer’s messages are in italics.

 

 

From: atiku_alli101@guju.net

Date: May 2004

Tel: 234 80 56405763

Fax: 234 80 56405763

Subject: Proposal


Dear sir/Madam

My name is ATUKU ALLI-a seasoned geologist of nigerian descent with about 20yrs  working experience with many  reputable geophysical  firms. I am 43yrs old and a native of yoruba.

IN the course of my job  as a geologist i stumbled into a place called "IGUE" in edo state  of nigeria,it is  undoubtedly a land naturally endowed with lots of precious solid mineral in abundant supplies.The locals of this place do not happen to know the vast potentials of these  minerals, a vast majority of them are illeterate people,which  has goaded me into establishing a solid mineral industry.

These minerals include:"CALCITE,DOLOMITE,FELSPAR,BARRITE,BENTHONITE,KAOLIN
E.T.c. quite frankly  these minerals happen to be in very high demand here in nigeria & other  countries,companies never cease to place demand for them locally,the irony is people do not know just how lucrative this business can be, so many products can be manufactured from these minerals,products like:petroleum addictives,marble,tiles,ceiling  boards,paints,rubber carpets, toothpaste,glass, cement & for drillling.

I  have already put a machinery in place for the smooth establishment of a state-of-the-art industry,the land wherein these materials are contained has been bought but the factory equipments still has not been acquired.The excavation  process is going on as i speak to you now,these minerals cannot be used in  their solid forms,they have to be crushed into powdry form or chippings-that brings us to the need  for the cheap factory equiment call the"PULVERIZER"&HAMMER-CRUSHER".These are the two major equipments for this factory&their costs  are on the high side.

I have already notified my bank of my intentions & they have indicated profound interest in loaning me money to buy these equipments(pulverizer & hammer-crusher) but they insist on seeing the raw materials on ground.The excavation  process is continuing in order to unearth these minerials after they will be blasted with explosives from the deep  layers of the soil.

Having said all this,it is clear that this venture would be very profitable & rewarding,i have invested so much here on my own to make the neccesary leap i need,but i would need a partner with whom we can jointly continue because i am almost  running out of funds & more  fund is needed to carry on.I would appreciate a partner who is GOD-FEARING & dedicated to join me in establishing this industry,you might  find it neccesary to come down here & see things for youself(the pace of work & materials acquired so far)for the avoidance of misconceptions, i would really like that,i  look forward to hearing  from you soon so we can speedily commence work.may GOD bless you.

ATIKU ALLI.

 

 

“GOD-FEARING”?  I am an atheist!  He has definitely chosen the wrong man.

 

 

From: Pizza Pepperoni

To: Atiku Alli

Date: Saturday, 7 August 04

Subject: Mining proposal

 

Dear Mr Atiku

 

            Your message about minerals in Nigeria has come to me.  First please forgive my English not good.  I am from Sicily, Italy.  I speak Italian.  I live in England only little time.  I use dictionary to help write this to you.  I am name Pizza Pepperoni.  I am from business family.  We famous for food and restaurants.  Many good Italian food named after my grandfather, uncle etc.  I want to move into other business.  I find commodities for clients.  I have client looking for very rare mineral.  It name “dilithium”.  It very valuable.  Have you dilithium?  My client from big federation.  They want much dilithium.  If you have big supply of dilithium I use family money to begin a mine.  Then we supply dilithium to federation for many moneys.  If you interested please reply.

 

Grazie

 

Pizza Pepperoni

 

 

For the benefit of those who are not “Star Trek” fans, dilithium is the fictitious substance that controls the anti-matter/matter reaction in the warp core reactor of the starship “Enterprise”.  As “Star Trek” has such a great following there are even spoof entries for dilithium on mineralogical databases on the web.  Will Alli realise this?

 

 

From: atiku_alli101@guju.net to Pizza Pepperoni.

Date: Monday, 09 August 2004

Subject: URGENT

 

Good day Pizza Peppperroni, I got your mail.i promise to be loyal and faithful to you if we can work together as one with one mind.The mineral Dilithium is very expensive to get but it can be fetch out from the site but it will include much money.which i will need your assistance .But for others like the white gold is available now in stock ,Kindly tell me in what ever way you know we can go about this but as i am concern we can get it .i await to hear from you immediately. Thanks. Alli.

 

Well, fancy that!  He has dilithium!  And it is very expensive to get.  Of course it would be, wouldn’t it?

 

 

From: Atiku Alli to Pizza Pepperoni.

Date: Tuesday, 10 August 2004

Subject: Good day

 

Dear pep, i want to inform you once more that i am willing to work with you on the establishment of our private mine .Please i will like also make known to you that Dilithium is well available to get.and also since you are sugesting that we should be buisiness partner in setting up a mine i will want you to clear me about this.Will you be in sicily why we are setting up the mine or if you will come down to nigeria so that we can see and really get aquinted with ourselves.and also i will like to bring to your notice that if we can set up the mine it can also lead to the supply of other solid minerals that are of higher demands to all federation too.if you understand what i mean i can send to you the project report of how everything will start.i stand to hear from you . Thanks Atiku Alli

 

Yes, he really does have dilithium, honest!

 

 

From: Pizza Pepperoni

To: Atiku Alli

Date: Tuesday, 10 August 2004

Subject: Dilithium mine

 

Dear Mr Alli,

            I thank you for your kind response.  I thank you also for making your messages short.  I take me long time with dictionary make English become Italian!  I take English lesson each week but am not good student.

            First I explain myself.  Until now my business is food.  Finding commodities for clients is new for me so I like not go too quick.  Also, I need be caution with new partner.  Friend tell me he had business offer from Nigerian man, but he use false name and not real.  Forgive me.  I not say Nigerians bad.  I not want to insult your honour.  However, I must be careful.  I need proof you are Mr Atiku Alli, and not another person who use that name.  Have you passport, or something official with photo of you and name?  Maybe driving licence or identity card.  Perhaps you send me picture of this with your name and photo.  Also, because passport etc. can be made false, send separate photo of you holding sign which say a password I give you.  Then if passport photo and photo with password are same I know you are real.  Then you are my brother and we do business.  Please tell me if this is possible.  For password I suggest:  “IMA PLONKER.”  It is common little blessing in Sicily.  Photo must be good quality.  Use jpg, but not with compression.

            Yes, send me please the project report.  My client have specification for quality of dilithium.  I find it for you.  Dilithium very rare.  I search many months for to find it.  It used in “high technology” use.  Please have you sample he could examine?  Quality very important.

 

Grazie

 

Pizza

 

 

From: Atiku Alli

To: Pizza Pepperoni

Date: Thursday, 12 August 04

Subject: DEAR FRIEND

 

Good day pizza, i understand how you feel in dealing with someone you havent met before ,i will do exactly as you said to proof i am Atiku alli and also a real solid mineral dealer,i will send to you in my next mail my ideal card of a real geologist and also a photo holding the sign like you said .I WILL LIKE YOU TO SEND THE SPECICIFICATION YOUR FRIEND HAS FOR A REAL QUALITY DILITHIUM, THANKS ATIKU ALLI N.B please always try to reply me immediately.

I promptly replied to this with a short note saying I was not a technical man so I was copying what my client had to say about dilithium.  I said I hoped Mr Alli could understand it better than I.  Regrettably my covering message did not save automatically but I still have a copy of the copied message from my “client” from the Federation.  Here it is:

 

 

Dear Pizza,

 

            Good to hear from you again.  Hope all’s well with you, your lovely wife and the little bambinos.  I trust you enjoyed the haggis hunt in Scotland.  My chief engineer would have loved to join you but was too busy working on our warp engines to be in a position to take time off.  This brings me to the subject that is of mutual concern to us.  As explained in our last meeting, our new state of the art warp drive depends on dilithium.  This is the only substance that can safely combine matter and anti-matter into a stable stream for injection into the warp core chamber.

            The dilithium crystal becomes the focal point where the matter/anti-matter injectors fire.  The crystal combines and refracts the beam into the warp core.  It is simple for the deuterium ions to “channel” through the crystal, provided it is very pure and exactly aligned.  The problem is the anti-deuterium.  Its ions have the opposite charge (negative) which means that it does not behave like deuterium and so (under the same conditions) could collide with the dilithium nuclei with violent exothermic consequences.  Why this does not happen is down to the unique properties of the dilithium lattice.  By means of high frequency excitation the material can be made porous to anti-matter, allowing this to be channelled and focused also.

            As dilithium only forms in the extraterrestrial environment the only source for many years was certain types of meteorite.  As these were very rare the substance was more expensive than diamonds!  It is only with the recent discovery of dilithium deposits in ancient impact basins that it has been possible to procure enough of the material to permit its use in prototype reactor designs.  Even so, at around $200 a gram it remains an extremely precious commodity.

            Federation scientists have pioneered the use of dilithium to facilitate matter/anti-matter reaction and believe this to be the next generation technology in space travel, energy generation and weaponry.  Already we have successfully built warp drives for satellites, space probes etc., and have developed a miniaturised reactor for use in phasers.  The material will be of major strategic importance in the future and the Federation is willing to invest considerable capital in securing a reliable supply.

            As dilithium has a strong, and distinctive, energy signature probably the easiest way to prospect for it is by means of a tricorder.  Simply walking over a deposit taking tricorder readings at regular intervals should allow a rough delineation of the deposit’s dimensions and grade (assuming no interference from duridium or magnesite).  Of course, to actually obtain samples, would require excavation and processing of many tons of rock.

            The natural product is generally quite pure.  The only contaminant to watch out for is the closely related trilithium.  This is dangerously unstable, and in the warp core environment can lead to powerful and uncontrollable power surges as it decomposes.  We require dilithium refined to 99.95 % purity, minimum, with a specification for trilithium of less than 10 ppm.  Whilst natural crystals are sometimes of sufficient quality to function in the warp core, nowadays we generally grow them in the laboratory from the powdered natural material using a process developed by my science officer, Mr Spock.

            I hope this clarifies things for you.  If you require any more data do not hesitate to contact me, but I will be away visiting the Romulan frontier for the next few weeks.  I’ll try and get you a bottle of Romulan ale but, owing to the current trade ban, it will take some effort.  Should be fun!

 

Live long and prosper

 

Jim

 

 

“Star Trek” fans will recognise all this, will Alli?

 

 

From: Atiku Alli

To: Pizza Pepperoni

Date: Friday, 13 August 2004 (Saturday Alli’s time)

Subject: Re: dilithium specification

 

Good day pizza I got the mail sent to me written by your client.i really love the mail because it explain everything about the validity of a delithium,as you can see it is normally use for high electronical devices which improves the high method of science and technology.so what i really want you to know is that it is not officially use in nigeria that leads it to be more expensive to excavate like i said in my previous i belive your client mail explains it more clearer and understanding for you to know what am about to go in for you as a means of transacting buisiness with you .Dilithium is very capital intensive to be excavated which involves the buying of explosives to bring out the rocks from the ground where you can get it plain and pure. What i will like you to put to my understand are you ready to assist me firstly in that aspect of more fund to put the forces in motion for explosion and excation.please reply me immediately so we can start work .mind you i will still like you to expect my photo . thanks Atiku alli.

Nope, he’s definitely not a Trekkie.

 

 

From: Pizza Pepperoni

To: Atiku Alli

Date: Friday, 13 August 2004

Subject: Business

 

Dear Mr Alli,

 

            Buon giorno!  I thank you for your quick reply.  I am happy you understand my client.  I do not!  I am businessman, not scientist.  Yes I am very wanting to get dilithium.  It early to say how we go yet.  You said you had project report.  I like it to see please.  Also, have you “certificate of analysis”, or sample (much better)?

            I have some idea how we go.  I think not good to spend too many moneys too quick in case maybe dilithium not much there, or not much good.  I can put small moneys in to get enough dilithium for to test and for Federation to see and test.  I need know how much you think necessarys.  I go up to 80,000 Euro, but prefer less.

            If can get sample, maybe half kilogram, then Federation will buy at price of approximately $200 per gram.  If this is quality good, then we make deal with Federation.  Either we sell mineral rights to Federation for millions, or we make deal - they provide big moneys (millions) to make mine big, but we have only share in mine.  Maybe 10 %.  At this stage they will want send their geologists to examine deposit.  We be equal partners.

            I let you do all things necassery in Nigeria.  You organise mineral rights, employ men, buy machine etc.  However, I must ask you something favour please.  Like many businessman, I not like for to pay tax.  I keep deals like this secret and away from authorities.  Then no tax to pay!  You agree to this?  Do you prefer Euro or Dollars?

            Please remember, I must have proper identifications by photograph of you before we go with this deal.  I wait now for your photographs.  Please they must be exact as I ask, and very good quality jpg (no compression) so I can examine them closely.  I go no further until I see these.  This very importment.  I do nothing more until this is done.

 

Ciao

 

Pizza

 

 

80,000 Euro in cash should whet his appetite, but how will he manage a sample of dilithium?

 

 

From: Atiku Alli

To: Pizza Pepperoni

Date: Sunday, 15 August 2004

Subject: Good day

 

Good day pizza i am glad you are rightly on the same line of understanding on what this transaction is all about with me .also glad that you wish to know whom you are about to transact buisiness with by means of sending my official identity card and also a photo with the sign written on it.i have take my scarning maching to where it can be prorperly repair because it has been giving great diffulties all this days of no operation .please stay cool and God bless you ,and i assuring you that by next week you will get it as planed ,and also i will bring to your notice that i have started with the project report which i belive that by next week also will be ready to see. Thanks Atiku Alli N.B PLEASE I HAVE JUST BE INFORMED THAT THIS SITE I AM USING WILL SOON BE SHUT DOWN BY AUGUST 31st YOU CAN CHECK TO SEE YOUR SELF www.guju.net .I MIGTH CHANGE TO ANOTHER SITE BETTER ANYTIME FROM NOW,SO DONT BE CONFUSE WHEN I USE ANOTHER SITE AND EMAIL ADDRESS IN CONTACTING YOU

 

 

I check guju and sure enough, it is about to go off-line.  I need his new e-mail address ASAP as I have plans for him.

 

 

From: Atiku Alli

To: Pizza Pepperoni

Date: Thursday, 19 August 2004

Subject: PROJECT REPORT ON DILITHIUM

 

DEAR PIZZA

         BELOW IS AN ATTACHMENT OF THE PROJECT REPORT ON DILITHIUM.WRITTEN WITH MY LETTER HEADED PAPPER.

THANKS

   

 

 

What a laugh this give me!  He has clearly done a Google search on dilithium and found a few spoof entries.  Did he not get suspicious about it enabling faster than light space travel?  Apart from duridium (more “Star Trek” jargon) the minerals are genuine, but not found in the associations he imagines.  “Tricorders” of course, are pure “Star Trek” fiction.  He must have been very grateful for all the guidance I gave him with the letter from my “client”.  A real geologist, prospecting for real minerals, would talk about the various geophysical and geochemical methods used, extraction and processing techniques, and the geological environments in which the mineral might be found.  This guy has not got a clue.

   

 

 

He also sent this business card but it has clearly not been printed out and scanned as he suggested it would be.  It looks cobbled together on a computer.

 

 

From: Atiku Alli

To: Pizza Pepperoni

Date: Thursday, 19 August 2004

Subject: MY PHOTO WITH THE SIGN

 

DEAR PIZZA,

  BELOW IS MY PHOTO IN MY MINING SITE.

THANKS.

 

   

 

Looks like he works in a quarry, or has access to one.  This may explain his superficial knowledge about industrial minerals.  The pictures are rather overexposed.  I want better.

 

 

From: Atiku Alli

To: Pizza Pepperoni

Date: Friday, 20 August 2004 (but received Thursday)

Subject: Re: Business

 

Hello pizza i hope you receive all i sent to you in a good condition ,i likely await to hear from you with a quik response how your family and buisiness i do hope all is well with you take good care of your self till i hear from you. Aiku Alli

 

 

From: Pizza Pepperoni

To: Atiku Alli

Date: Thursday, 19 August 2004

Subject:  Re: Business

 

Dear Mr Alli,

 

            I thank you for the things you send me.  I happy with project report.  Thank you.  Photos interesting and I see sign – and bless you too!  Good to see you have already a mine.  I hope it very big success for you.  What is it produce?

            I hope you not become offended if I say photos need be better.  I appreciate you take time and troubles for to assure me.  I thank you for this.  Photos at mine are overexposed.  Too much bright sunshine.  Maybe better if made inside, or not in bright sunlight.  Also I need to compare face in photo with sign, with face in identity photo.  Not easy if person in photo with sign far away from camera.  Can you please make photo with sign with you closer to camera, but sign still to be seen.  Not too bright.  Also, have you official identity, like national identity card, or passport?  This best identity, better than geologist card (which I think attractive design).  Best way is one good jpg of official identity/passport, and separate to this, one good jpg with one good photo close to camera with sign.

            Please accept my many apologies for extra troubles.  I must need be 100 % certain, then you my brother.  When done, perhaps I bring you little present for your troubles (my cousin marry into Rolex family!).

            Do not worry about Federation.  They have good reputation for honour, not like Ferengi.  Simple solution is not tell them where dilithium is (they not even know which country).  Only when we have proof of good deposit then we have them sign legal document for to protect our rights.

            I like deal in cash.  Is this good for you?  Prefer Euro.  500 Euro notes take not much space in suitcase.  Customs never see.  I do this many time.  Can get dollars but take longer and take more space in suitcase.  Prefer very much Euro.

            I am away this weekend for business.  I return back start next week.

 

Grazie

 

Pizza

 

 

From: Atiku Alli

To: Pizza Pepperoni

Date: Wednesday, 25 August 2004 (I actually got it on Tuesday)

Subject: Fw: front of my drivers licence

 

this  is  my  drivers licence.and  it's  given  only  by  the government  federal  republic of nigeria.

  we  do  not  have  national  identity card  yet  but  our  drivers licence  stands  for  that.

  also  take a  lookat  the  back o the  drivrs  licence.

 

 

   

 

The scratches across the card do not help.  A Nigerian friend suggested that it could have been used as a swipe card, there being a magnetic strip across the back of the licence.  There are problems with this driving licence, the head looks rather large in relation to the body, the signature does not match that on his business card and the date of birth makes him a lot older than 43.  I decide to save these problems until later.  I have not copied the reverse of the licence, it had little of interest.

 

From: Atiku Alli

To: Pizza Pepperoni

Date: Tuesday, 24 August 2004

Subject: dis pics. are clearer

 

the  last  picture  where  not  clearer  so  i  had to send  it again.this one  now  is  clearer.God  bless you.

 

 

 

 

This is the best of 3 similar pictures he sent.  Yes, he is definitely a plonker.

 

 

To: Atiku Alli

From: Pizza Pepperoni

Date: Tuesday, 24 August 2004

Subject: Now we do business

 

My dear brother Atiku,

 

            I thank you much for your pictures.  Please forgive me for the trouble I make for you but you know what dangerous world we live in.  I like your pictures.  You are good man, now we do business.

            Because business complicated it best I meet with you in Nigeria.  Not to worry about language.  I get yesterday new “Universal Translator” from Vulcan.  It very advanced technology with “voice recognition software”.  You speak to it in English.  It speak to me in Italian.  I speak to it in Italian.  It speak to you in English.  It not work good on telephone, but it work very good “face to face”.

            You need tell me how much moneys you need for start work to get first sample dilithium.  I bring it you.  How you prefer?  Euro best.  Bankers draft?  Cash?  Please tell.  Also, where can we meet?  Is best meet in hotel near airport in big city – easy to get to.  Maybe Lagos?  I wait with enthusiasm your reply.  I hope also, you find soon new e-mail address.  God bless or in Sicilian dialect, “Ura plonker!”.

 

Pizza

 

 

From: Atiku Alli

To: Pizza Pepperoni

Date: Wednesday, 25 August 2004

Subject: how soon are you coming

 

good day  pizza,how  was  your  trip?hope  fine. i  really  like  your  idea. let  me  answer  your  questions.first  i  will  prefer  lagos city which  you  earlier  say,i  will  prefer  cash  in  euro  since  the 

value  is  better  than  dollar  in  nigeria.and  final  let  me know  how  soon  you  are  coming  so  i  can  arrange  time  from  that from my  thight  schedule.

 

                                  thanks.

                                  atiku

 

 

From: Pizza Pepperoni

To: Atiku Alli

Date: Wednesday, 25 August 2004

Subject: Coming to Lagos and photo of me.

 

Dear Atiku,

 

            I have tight schedule also!  It very busy time of year for me.  Also my secretary left to marry Italian boy called Fellatio month ago and never come back so I do all work myself.  I advertise now for new assistant.  Interviews next week, but I have little essential job week after (week that start Monday 6th September).  Is that week good for you?  Also it give me time to make arrangements for money.  How much you need?  Is 80,000 Euro (160 notes of 500 Euro each) enough?  Can you find, please, good hotel in Lagos?  There is a Sheraton there.  Business friend stay there last year, very good.  Only need one night, I not have time to stay long.

            Please can you find new e-mail address soon?  Guju stop before I go to Lagos.  If problem I need be able to contact you.

            When you tell me which week good for you I look for flight booking and give you time arrival.  You see me at airport.  You can hold sign with my name.  Also, I give you here my picture (only one I find, all others in Palermo now) which is from charity event at local church recently.  Local newspaper give it me.  This help you recognise me at airport.

 

Ciao

 

Pizza

 

 

I send him a picture of Al Pacino.

 

 

From: Atiku Alli

To: Pizza Pepperoni

Date: Thursday, 26 August 2004

Subject: Reply from atiku

 

Good day pizza,

i   now  have   a  new  e-mail address on  a  new site  that am  now  using  to  send  to you(atiku_alli101@fastermail.com).

next week will be convinent for me,what about  you?anyway just send me the day and date when you can come and i will squeeze time to meet with you at the airport as planned.

please for easy recognision, if you can put on green suit and shoes also a green hat will be easy for me to spot you from the crowd because my eyesight is not too good.

sheraton hotel will be good for you.and is also close to the airport.i will arrange for a room for you.

what is needed for work to start immediately,cost of hiring of machines like bulldozer,tricoder,mini machines ,payloader e.t.c are expensive here in nigeria.like hiring of the tricoder machine for a day is about 1400euro if the is coverted to euro.and this will be needed for quite some time in other for us to get samples of dilithium and also explosives will be needed in large quantities to blast rocks and this explosives are expensive.and also cost of labour and mobility.and the cost of acquiring mineral rights of the sites i will be working on. due to my estimation in euro,about 88,000euro will  go a long way in getting good samples of dilithium after i've converted it to my currency.

 

 

A green suit, shoes and hat?  Who is baiting who here?  At least we now know how much a tricorder costs, why can he not spell it right?

 

 

From: Atiku Alli

To: Pizza Pepperoni

Date: Thursday, 26 August 2004

Subject: 6th of september

Hello Pizza,

            I now understand what you meant by week after 6th of september that is when i believe you will be chance to book your flight like you said and its also good for me too.please kindly send me the date and time of your arrival and also the name of the flight you are coming with in other to ease looking for you.

thanks i await to hear from you with an immidiate reply.

                                                           Your Brother,

                                                                           Atiku Alli.

 

From: Pizza Pepperoni

To: Atiku Alli

Date: Thursday, 26 August 2004

Subject: Meeting

 

Dear Atiku,

 

            Yes, the week that begins with the 6th September is most good for me.  I look for airplane soon and tell you when this is done with flight number etc.  I hope you joke about green suit and hat.  I respectable businessman, I always dress in dark suit like one in photo.  I do have white suit given me years ago (I still fit in it also!) but I feel embarrass in it – too bright.  I think I easy to see.  I think not many 6’ 5” very tall Italians at Lagos airport.  If you stand with sign with my name I find you quick.  We discuss closer to time.

            I very busy and go away next few days.  I try make booking first but may not able.  Do not be worry if not have contact from me for few days.  Also, it give me time to organise money.  I take 90,000 Euro.  Little extra will help pay you costs for hotel booking etc.

 

Ciao

 

Pizza

 

 

From: Atiku Alli

To: Pizza Pepperoni

Date: Friday, 27 August 2004

Subject:  good day my brother

 

Good day  pizza,

  I  was only joking about the green suit.no responsible businessman will put that on.is just that green means good luck in my country.

  That week is also okey by me.i will start making chance for that

week.don't bother wearing the white suit just put on what is okey by you.me and my son will hold the sign and you can spot us as far will know the time of arrival of the airplane.ura plonker.

 

 

                                                       ciao

 

                                                       atiku

 

 

I asked my Nigerian friend about green being a lucky colour.  His reply was, “Bollocks!”.  Who is Alli calling a plonker?

 

 

From: Pizza Pepperoni

To: Atiku Alli

Date: Wednesday, 01 September 2004

Subject: Date to come to Lagos

Dear Atiku,

 

            Buon giorno!  You make me laugh.  I wear a green tie for you, but a dark suit.  Is Monday 6th/Tuesday 7th September good for you?  There is British Airways flight arrive 18:45 Lagos.  Flight number is BA 0075.  Good time to go to hotel and discuss business over dinner.  Flight home next day leave late at night 23:15.  Gives time in morning if need it.  If not I go look at Lagos for little holiday before flight leave.  I have money ready now.  Also will find more technical documents about dilithium and the finding of it, and the separating of it from the rock to make it pure.  These I bring for you also.

            I see you try to learn Italian!  Ciao is right, but “plonker” blessing not.  It actually not Italian but local dialect.  For “Ima” and “Ura” it depend on nationality of people who say it.  For us I always says to you “Ura” because I Sicilian, you friend who is not, you always says to me “Ima” because you not from Sicily but friend of one who is.

            Please tell me quick if this time is good for you.  Only a few seats left on first class.  If it good for you I make flight booking.  Please, as I not speak Italian, and I have no more secretary, can you book room at Sheraton for one night?  I pay you when I arrive.  Grazie (Italian = thanks).  Ura plonker.

 

Ciao

 

Pizza

 

 

From: Atiku Alli

To: Pizza Pepperoni

Date: Thursday, 02 September 2004

Subject: arrival to lagos

 

Goodday Pizza,

    yes,that is good for me.just send me the actual date and time of arrival.please endeauvor to pray before flight takes off.i and me son will hold the the sign of your name at airport so you can easily spot us.i will also be at the look for you with your green tie and black suite.

    i will make hotel reservation for  you at sheraton as you said.don't bother about refunding the money to me.is my obligation to takecare of you when you come to my country as is also your responsibility to takecare of me when i come to italy anytime.

    let me know the time of arrival when you make final bookings so i can start preparing to go to lagos because lagos is quite far from where i am now.how long will it take to get to nigeria?and what's the meaning of buon giorno?

 

ciao

 

atiku.

 

 

How nice of him to book the Sheraton.  That’s only $300 a night.

 

 

From: Pizza Pepperoni

To: Atiku Alli

Date: Thursday, 02 September 2004

Subject: Time for Lagos

 

Dear Atiku,

 

            Buon giorno!  That is Italian for “good day” and I think next Monday will be a good day.  I make now plane reservation for Monday 6th September.  It is British Airways flight BA 0075. It leave London at 12:20.  It arrive Lagos at 18:45.  We find ourselves at airport and go to Sheraton where we have good dinner.  With my Universal Translator it easy to talk.  Please confirm to me when you make booking for room at Sheraton.  You stay there also?  It very kind of you to take very good care of me.  You are very good and honest man.  Yes, I like for to show you Italy.  Very beautiful country, mountains, history etc.  I like show you mountain Stromboli near my home.  I take you to top.

            I always go to Mass (worship in Catholic Church) on Sunday and will seek blessing from the priest Father I. Gropem if he is not busy with the choir boys.  Ura plonker.

 

Ciao

 

Pizza

 

 

To: Pizza Pepperoni

From: Atiku Alli

Date: Friday, 03 September 2004

Subject:  Save journey Pizza

 

Buon giorno Pizza,

Are you leaving from london?

 I might stay there too but depending if i can afford for both of us because that hotel is quite expensive.i've never used it before.i will do the booking on monday morning so don't bother about that,everything will be taking care of.

Please endeauvor to come with that information you said you have about the findings and the seperation of dilithium to it's purest form because it will help me have more knowledge during working.And please pray before flight leaves.Ima plonker.

ciao

Atiku

 

 

Yes, you are a plonker.

 

 

From: Atiku Alli

To: Pizza Pepperoni

Date: Tuesday, 07 September 2004

Subject: Your Arrival

 

DEAR PIZZA,

                 I must say i am confused about what is actually happening right now.i have arrived the airport and the plane you where surpose to come with has arrived and you are no where to be found and also i have booked for the hotel room at sheraton for you.please kindly tell me your plans and how  it's going to look like because it has cause me my time and expenses living my state for lagos state just for your arrival.

                  I hereby await your reply immidiately with a swift response because am still in lagos awaiting your arrival.

                                        Grazie,

                                                  Atiku Alli. 

 

Something awful has happened to Pizza.  I cook up this newspaper article, and change identity.  Naturally, Marlon Brando just had to star in this one.


 

 

From: Spaghetti Bolognese

To: Atiku Alli

Date: Wednesday,8 September 2004

Subject:  Pepperoni is dead – see this newspaper article.

 

Dear Mr Atiku Alli,

 

            I am Don Spaghetti Bolognese, head of the Bolognese family of Sicily and southern Italy.  As you can see from the attached report from the local newspaper for where I am presently staying in England, Pizza Pepperoni is no longer with us.

            Pepperoni was not entirely honest with you.  What he did not tell you is that he was under investigation by the Inland Revenue (British tax authority) as well as authorities in France and Italy for tax evasion.  Consequently his bank accounts and assets were frozen.  This meant he could not raise the money for your bogus dilithium project.  That is why he stole it from me.

            My men paid him a visit in the early hours of Monday morning where he paid dearly for his mistake.  Unfortunately the money was not there.  Now I have a problem.  I am missing nearly 100,000 Euro and I want it back.

            I have his computer and am using it now.  As I do not have his password for his e-mail account I do not know yet what his last messages were to you, but he was stupid enough to make copies of some of the earlier ones and I have these, so I know roughly what is going on.  You claim to be a geologist, you claim to have a dilithium deposit, you claim to need money to mine it.  You sent him pictures – you holding a sign with a Sicilian blessing, an obviously fake company identity card and a driver’s licence with your head stuck on, and a different signature to the one on your card.  Pepperoni always was gullible.  I tricked him out of his money many times and he never realised it.  You really had found a mugu.

            At least you do not pretend to be Miriam Abacha.  I have told my friends in Lagos to stop that trick because too many people are calling themselves by that name.  In fact I appreciate your 419 scam, it is more imaginative than most.  As you can tell I know all about these frauds – my friends in Lagos do them also.

            Now I really do not care about your little 419 business, I just want my money back.  I think you have it.  I can put you in contact with my man in Lagos where you can meet him and return the money.  If you do this you have my word, on my honour as a Don, that you will come to no harm.  If you do not my men will find you.  I have computer experts who will trace the computer you have been using, I have your photographs, it is obvious you work at a quarry, or have some connection with one.  We can quickly find quarries and mines in directories.  We will find you.  Again, I give you my word that if you return my money you will not be harmed.  If you do not then remember what happened to Pepperoni.

            I have communicated with Tunde, my man in Lagos, who passes on this message:

 

Abeg my friend, make you help this guy oh. Na Godfather of the Sicilian Mafia. He no dey joke about wetin he dey yarn oh. I fit meet you for Ikeja to try sort dis problem out.

 

            I await your prompt reply so arrangements can be made.

 

Don Bolognese

 

 

Translation, courtesy of my Nigerian friend:  Please my friend, treat this man with respect.  He is Godfather of the Sicilian mafia.  He means what he says.  I can meet with you in Ikeja (a district in Lagos) to sort this problem out.

 

Almost a week goes by then I get this sad response.

 

 

From: Atiku Alli

To: Spaghetti Bolognese

Date: Monday, 13 September 2004

Subject: God bless you for killing him

 

what've you gained  killing  him? i don't even  think  pizza could  do something like that.

  i'm not a scamist,i'm a responsible man and don't have time for those kind of things. as for my id they are original and not faked.

  i know the lord will pay you for killing pizza cause you have no right to take the life of someone no matter anycondition.

  i know my mind is free.i wasn't really interested,i was trying to squeeze out time for that project. i'm very busy man with my field God have blessed me with.

 

 

From: Spaghetti Bolognese

To: Atiku Alli

Date: Monday, 13 September 2004

Subject: I do not believe you

 

My dear Mr Alli,

 

            If only I could believe you life would be much simpler.  But life is not simple.  Unfortunately for you I have your very first e-mail in which you claim to be 43 years old.  The date of birth on your driving licence would make you 55 on the 15th of this month.  That is a big difference.  Your company identity card was supposed to be scanned in.  It is not.  It has been constructed on a computer.  It is not a card that has been scanned.  The signature on it does not match the one on the driving licence.  The head on the driving licence looks too big in relation to the body.

            Please do not lie to me Mr Alli.  I really do not care about your scam.  I just want to know what happened to my money.  Perhaps you can reassure me by doing two things.  Send me all e-mails between you and Pepperoni from 26th August onwards.  Send me also a list of all the “reputable geophysical firms” you claim to have worked with for 20 years, and include the dates you worked with them so I can check.  If you do both these things then maybe I will believe you.

            Do not mourn for Pepperoni.  He was no angel.  In Sicily we value honour above all else.  If someone insults another then it has to be avenged to preserve one’s honour.  My family takes honour very seriously.

 

Don Bolognese, Godfather

 

 

From: Spaghetti Bolognese

To: Atiku Alli

Date: Monday, 20 September 2004

Subject: Reply to me

 

Mr Alli,

 

            I am becoming impatient with you.  I expect a reply, proving you are a geologist, and explaining what has happened to my money.  Would you like me to send Tunde and his men to visit you?

 

Don Bolognese

 

 

From: Atiku Alli

To: Spaghetti Bolognese

Date: Thursay, 23 September 2004

Subject: Re: Reply to me

 

fool,

  so una think say una fit scam me.am a legal geologist from university of

ibadan i finished 1974.

 since u made me wait my money in researh and hotel  booking keep being a fool

why i go on with my business down here fool.

 

 

Translation: So you think you can scam me…

 

He thinks I am a fellow Nigerian scammer, and that this is a ruse to make him pay up 90,000 Euro!  Unfortunately, the “Contact us” part of the University of Ibadan’s website does not work so I cannot easily check out his claim to be a graduate from there.

 

Time for another change of identity, and to end any notion that I am a Nigerian scammer.

 

 

From: Tagliatelle Carbonara

To: Atiku Alli

Date: Friday, 24 September 2004

Subject: I have Pizza Pepperoni money.

 

Dear Mr Atiku Alli,

 

            I want very much to write to you but only now have opportunity.  I am business partner of Pizza Pepperoni.  I am the man who introduced him to our client, United Federation, who want very much dilithium.  I not know if you learn that Pizza is dead now.  He killed by Don Bolognese, who is Godfather of Sicilian mafia.  Bolognese wanted revenge because Pepperoni took money from him.  But money belong Pepperoni.  Bolognese cheat and liar who cheat Pepperoni over many years.  Pepperoni take back only what was his.  Before he killed, Pepperoni give me money for to keep safe.  Then he killed, now I must hide from Bolognese until safe.  Until now I had no opportunity to contact you because police guards everywhere.  Now I am in France with cousin and can write to you with safety.

            Please do you want to continue with project?  I very much interested in to do this.  I have 90,000 Euro in cash here which I can take to you as was wish of Pepperoni.  If succeed in find much dilithium it make much profit for us.

            Please say to me what you want to do.  If not interested please say so I find other source.  Grazie.  Ura plonker.

 

Tagliatelle

 

 

From: Atiku Alli

To: Tagliatelle Carbonara

Date: Saturday, 25 September 2004 (although it said Sunday)

Subject: Re: I have Pizza Pepperoni money

 

GOOD DAY,

            I GOT YOUR MAIL,AND WOULD SAY AM HAPPY TO RECEIVE

IT.ANYWAY,ALL THESE WHILE I HAVE BEEN HEART BROKEN WHEN I RECEIVED A MAIL FROM ONE DON BOLOGNESE SAYING THAT HE KILLED PIZZA PEPPERONI BECAUSE OF MONEY.I HAVE NOT BEEN MYSELF BECAUSE ALTHROUGH MY TRANSACTIONS AND DISCUSSION WITH PIZZA PEPPERONI,I NEVER FOR ONCE LOOKED AT HIM AS A DUBIOUS MAN.HOWEVER HOW DID YOU GET MY EMAIL ADDRESS THAT YOU ARE NOW CONTACTING ME AS A FRIEND TO PIZZA, HOW DID

YOU KNOW THAT PIZZA IS ON A DILITHIUM BUSINESS,AND HOW DID YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IS INVOLVED IN GETTING DILITHIUM.KINDLY ANSWER MY QUESTIONS BEFORE GOING FURTHER.

                                THANKS,

                              ATIKU ALLI.

 

 

Why do these guys love using CAPITALS?

 

 

From: Tagliatelle Carbonara

To: Atiku Alli

Date: Saturday, 25 September 2004

Subject: Pizza Pepperoni and dilithium

 

Dear Mr Alli,

 

            Thank you for reply to my message.  I answer all your questions for you.  As I explain in my message I am business partner of Don Pepperoni.  I know a man called Captain James T. Kirk, who represents United Federation, a federation of groups and peoples with interests in scientific exploration and advancements.  He explain to me about dilithium which is very valuable because it will have many technology uses in future.  It useful as new energy source, better than nuclear and very safe with no pollution.  It used to power energy generating systems, weapons, vessels, spaceprobes etc.  James Kirk is captain of flagship of Federation, the “USS Enterprise”.  Even this is powered with dilithium to demonstrate success of this technology.  Federation very much want to secure a supply and will pay much money for pure dilithium.  It worth more than gold.

            I not have money enough to finance search for dilithium, but Pepperoni have big company, “Pizza Shack” and also shares in other companies.  I tell him about dilithium and he agree to take care of the finding and finance of this.  He keep me informed by e-mail and sent me copies of your messages.  This is how I know your e-mail.  He also gave me 90,000 Euro to keep safe just before he died.

            I explain before Bolognese a bad man.  Police know he killed Pepperoni but have no evidence.  He is very rich and has much power.  He know big politicians and top police men.  He is dangerous.  This is why I hide in France where I have cousins and other family (I born in France so am French citizen, but my parents from Sicily where I live since a child).

            I willing to continue dilithium business, but also have many problems now as I need to hide from Bolognese until new identity and home found.  This mean that sometime I may be slow in reply to you.  Do not worry if I seem slow to reply.

            Please tell me about dilithium.  Until now it only found in rare meteorites and in very small amount in places where they hit earth millions years ago.  Have you definitely found dilithium in Nigeria?  If you definitely have found it then this very exciting and good news.  If dilithium not there in Nigeria then I not prepared to take risk in spending 90,000 Euro to search for it.  What is your experience in the searching for minerals?

            Sorry my English not much more good than Pizza, but I use Universal Translator (new invention from Federation) which help.  My French is slightly better, but mostly I speak Sicilian dialect of Italian.

            I hope this explain everything.  I go now.  As we say at home, “Ura plonker”.

 

Tag

 

 

I also apply a little more pressure from Don Bolognese.

 

 

From: Spaghetti Bolognese

To: Atiku Alli

Date: Monday, 27 September 2004

Subject:  You are the fool

 

Mr Alli,

 

            I am not trying to scam you.  I just want to know what happened to my money.  As for being a fool, at least I know how to spell “tricorder” and I am not even a geologist.  In fact you can hardly spell at all.  I have spent some time with Pepperoni’s computer looking through your messages and your very amateurish “Project Report”.  I have even traced some of the websites you took your information about dilithium from.  You obviously know nothing about the subject.

            The “contact us” section of the University of Ibadan website does not work so I cannot easily contact them – check if you do not believe me.  I am satisfied that even if you are a geologist you are the world’s most incompetent one.  You are not even a good scammer.  As I said before your identification was obviously fake – and you still have not explained the errors I pointed out to you.  You have a lot to learn.

            Just tell me what you know about my money (and return it if you have it) and I will leave you alone to continue with your pathetic attempts at scamming people.

 

Don Bolognese

 

 

From: Atiku Alli

To: Tagliatelle Carbonara

Date: Wednesday, 29 September 2004

Subject: Treat As Urgent

 

DEAR CARBONARA,

   FROM YOUR RECENT MAIL YOU SENT ME,I WOULD WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT DILITHIUM IS AVAILABLE IN NIGERIA(EDO AND OYO STATES)AND  THAT FROM MY PREVIOUS TRANSACTION WITH DON PIZZA I WAS ABLE  TO FIND THE DEPOSIT  OF DILITHIUM IN NIGERIA.

   DILITHIUM IS MAINLY FOUND IN INTERPLANETARY ASTERIODS AND THE COMPOSITION OF DILITHIUM IS LITIUM AND FELLURIUM(LI2Te) AND IS SILICA-POOR PLANETESIMALS WHICH DID NOT  UNDERGO SIGNIFICANT PARENT BODY METAMOPHISM DURING FORMATION.

  BUT I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT BEFORE ANY TRANSACTION I WOULD WANT YOU TO SEND YOUR RECENT PICTURE SO THAT I CAN VERIFY YOUR TRUE IDENTITY.I WANT TO KNOW IF YOU ARE SERIOUS WITH THIS TRANSACTION,BECAUSE I HAVE SPENT A LOT OF MONEY IN MY PREVIOUS TRANSACTION WITH PIZZA PEPPERONI DUE TO THE HOTEL BILLS WHICH I PAID FOR HIM.THAT'S  TO LET YOU KNOW

HOW SERIOUS I WAS WITH PIZZA.SO I WOULD WANT TO SEE YOUR PICTURE AND PHONE NUMBER SO THAT I CAN CALL  YOU AND  HEAR YOU TALK IN ORDER TO BE SURE THAT I AM ACTUALLY DEALING WITH YOU BECAUSE I HAVE A FRIND THAT SPEAKS ITALIAN AND FRENCH.HE WOULD BE ABLE  TO TALK TO YOU.I AWAIT YOU ERNEST AND URGENT RESPONSE.HAVE A NICE DAY MY FRIEND AND PARTNER

  ATIKU ALLI

 

 

He is getting awkward now.  Perhaps a picture of a bearded and smiling Robert de Niro will help.

 

 

To: Atiku Alli

From: Tagliatelle Carbonara

Date: Wednesday, 29 September 2004

Subject: This is my picture.

 

Dear Atiku,

 

            Thank you for reply.  I understand your caution, I try my best to help.  Please also remember my situation.  I move address every few weeks, I have police guard much of time, it difficult to get to computer, I have many problems like this until Bolognese either get arrested by police, or until he kill me.

            Here my picture taken by friend just now.  He have digital camera.  I try to smile even though I live in fear of Bolognese.  He man who always get revenge and who never give up.  I might shave off beard, I not decide yet.  It good you have friend who speak Italian.  I hope he understand my strong Sicilian accent.  What is his name?  This is number of my phone, it is still a U.K. number because it is the phone I had when I was there when I had to escape to France.  I have still the phone with me now.  It is 00447949335458.  I look forward to speak with your friend.

            I very excited that you have confirmation of dilithium in Nigeria.  Until now only very few places in world where it has been found.  In every place it is there in only very smallest of quantities.  You say you have found it in two states, Edo and Oyo.  This mean two deposits of one of rarest of minerals.  Truly God has blessed Nigeria, and blessed you with the good luck to find these deposits.  Please tell me, how big are these deposits?  If they seem like just very little, small amounts then not likely to be economic and I reluctant to take gamble.  If indications of dilithium are found over large area (several kilometres) then very good news and I very impatient to begin!  Please tell me extent of the two deposits.

            Have you already small sample of dilithium that could be tested please?  My client at the Federation would like to know of quality.  Perhaps you could send, please, a very small sample, only a gram is sufficient, or even less if you have little.  This would allow scientific tests to prove purity and quality.  Because I move address very much just now, it best to send it to a Scandinavian friend.  He has scientific laboratory and can do all tests, then he can tell me his results.  Please send sample to:

 

Mr. V. I. King

P.O. Box R.U.1-2

Bonkersfjord

Norway

 

            I look at early message you send to Pizza.  You say you have already “white gold” in stock.  This confuse me.  I thought gold yellow.  Please explain.

            Finally, there is another client, not Federation, who has interest in another very rare mineral.  His name is Mr Clark Kent, he is a super man.  Very good and honest.  He ask me recently about mineral called “kryptonite”.  Like dilithium it is very rare and has special properties.  Mr Kent very interested in to know where this mineral is found.  I think maybe he prepared to finance this as much as Federation would for dilithium.  Do not do big research at present, please just tell me if you know if it is present also in Nigeria?  If “yes” I ask Mr Kent if he interested and I give you reply.  Then you decide what to do if he say yes.  If he say “no” I tell you straight away and that way you not waste time any further.

            I go now.  I await your reply with great enthusiasm.  Ura plonker.

 

Tag

 

 

The mobile phone number I gave him is dead (the phone was stolen and cancelled).  He’ll get a recorded message inviting him to record a message.  What will he do about a sample for Mr. King?  Has he got kryptonite as well as dilithium?

 

 

From: Atiku Alli

To: Tagliatelle Carbonara

Date: Friday, 01 October 2004

Subject: reply from me atiku

 

Goodday my dear friend,

 

Please i really understand your plight but please i don't understand that photogragh of yours.please try and send another photogragh of you not smile or without any facial expression.and please  don't shave and please hold this sign GOD BLESS US on a piece of paper.if this is done,then we can start business.

                                                             thanks.

                                                             ATIKU

 

 

Damn!  I have not got the means to fabricate a picture of de Niro with the appropriate sign.  I need to stall him a little while I think of a way out.  We are nearing the end now, I think.

 

 

From: Tagliatelle Carbonara

To: Atiku Alli

Date: Friday, 01 October 2004

Subject: Re: reply from me atiku

 

Dear Atiku,

 

            I write this in great haste as police move me again to new house.  I have just a few minutes on computer now before I go.  I go to house of my nephew Ravioli in Marseille in south of France where I stay for next few weeks.  When there I will get photo of me as you ask next week.  Over weekend, perhaps you can make ready please sample of dilithium for Mr. King in Norway.  Thank you.  Ura plonker.

 

Tag

 

 

Now he thinks he knows where I am.  There is a reason for this.

 

 

From: Spaghetti Bolognese

To: Atiku Alli

Date: Friday, 01 October 2004

Subject: Tagliatelle Carbonara

 

My dear Atiku,

 

            I have good news for you, and bad.  First the good.  I now know you do not have my money.  My computer expert has found Pepperoni’s password.  This means I can now read all of his messages, and yours’.  It seems my men got to him just in time.  He was going to go to Lagos later that day.  You very nearly had 90,000 Euro for a pathetic little 419 scam.

            Now for the bad news.  I have found out who does have my money.  His name is Signore Tagliatelle Carbonara, an old friend of Pepperoni.  He was at Pepperoni’s house the night before Pepperoni died.  He disappeared shortly after into police protection.  I am now confident he has the cash.  Why is this bad news for you?  Well I shall explain.

            Carbonara is as stupid and gullible as Pepperoni was.  He knows nothing of Nigerian 419 scams.  I know him well enough to know that he will try to continue Pepperoni’s business with you.  In fact I would be very surprised if he has not already made contact with you.  I am going to interfere.  I have Carbonara’s e-mail address *****@*****.com and I will send him a message explaining about Nigerian 419 scams.  I will tell him to take a closer look at your fake identity, with the mistakes I have already pointed out to you.  I will even show him the website where you copied the comment about “silica-poor planetesimals …” http://webmineral.com/data/Dilithium.shtml and explain that you use this term in a way that shows you do not even know what a planetesimal is – and so cannot be a real geologist.  When Carbonara learns you are a liar and a thief he will pull out of the deal and you will not get the 90,000 Euro.

            Does this upset you?  It should do, you have already lost time and money.  Furthermore 90,000 Euro is probably more than you could earn in the rest of your worthless life.  Do not despair.  There is a way out.  You see, for me this affair is more about honour and saving face, than about a paltry sum like 90,000 Euro.  I earn more than that in a month.  If I am seen to let Carbonara get away with what he and Pepperoni have done then I lose respect amongst the other Italian mafia families.  I would rather lose 90,000 Euro than lose respect.  If I lose respect then others will not fear me and my position as Godfather will be weakened.

            I will do a deal with you.  Tell me where Carbonara is.  My men will then find him and kill him.  If you do this, and Carbonara is where you say he is, I will give you 90,000 Euro.  If you do not then I will send an e-mail to Carbonara, and a copy to you, explaining to him that you are a fraud.  Then you will have nothing.  You have nothing to lose by agreeing to this.  You lose your chance of 90,000 Euro if you do not agree.  Let me know your position.  As Pepperoni would say to you, ura plonker.

 

Don Bolognese

 

 

Will he defend the innocent Tagliatelle, or will he sell him out for 90,000 Euro?

 

 

From: Spaghetti Bolognese

To: Atiku Alli

Date: Sunday, 03 October 2004

Subject: Decide now before it is too late

 

Atiku,

 

            I am still waiting.  If I have no reply from you within 24 hours I will inform Carbonara that you are a liar and a thief.  Tell me where he is and I will not do this.

 

Don Bolognese

 

 

I got a swift response - within a couple of hours:

 

 

From: Atiku Alli

To: Spaghetti Bolognese

Date: Sunday, 03 October 2004

Subject: Re: Decide now before it is too late

 

Please kindly do that fast my dear Bolognese i cant tell you where he is okay?go

look for him yourself you idiot

 

 

Well, I guess that settles it.  No point in waiting the 24 hours.  I respond immediately.

 

 

From: Spaghetti Bolognese

To: Atiku Alli

Date: Sunday, 03 October 2004

Subject: Re: Decide now before it is too late

 

You have made your decision.  I’ll find Carbonara eventually anyway.  He cannot hide from me forever.  Meanwhile you have just lost 90,000 Euro.  Who is the idiot now?

 

 

Minutes later I send this:

 

 

From: Spaghetti Bolognese

To: Tagliatelle Carbonara

Copy: Atiku Alli

Date: Sunday, 03 October 2004

Subject: Some things you should know about Atiku Alli

 

My dear Tag,

 

            Buon giorno!  Come siete?  È stato un molto tempo.  Era una cosa terribile che è accaduto a Pizza Pepperoni.  Dovete essere molto impauriti.

            I will use English now because that is what your Nigerian friend speaks and I want him to read this.  Yes, I know about Atiku Alli.  In fact I know a lot more about him than you do.  He is not a geologist.  He does not have dilithium.  He is a fraudster attempting to cheat you out of as much money as he can.  Do not take my word for it.  Go to Google and do a search on “Nigerian 419 scams”.  You will find dozens of websites that explain exactly what Mr Alli is up to.

These scams are named after section 4-1-9 of the Nigerian criminal code, which makes them illegal.  They are all broadly similar.  Someone, usually a Nigerian (but increasingly they are being copied by others around the world) sends an e-mail with what sounds like an amazing business proposition.  They may claim to be a relative of a wealthy dictator, or a top executive of a large bank or company, and will seek your help in transferring a large sum of money.  But first they will request an up-front fee.  You pay it, the money transfer never happens, and they disappear.

Atiku Alli is trying a variation.  He claims to have great mineral wealth, he just needs capital to develop it.  In your case he claims he has dilithium.  He does not.  He is lying.  If you were stupid enough to give him any money he would take it and disappear, just like his fellow 419 scammers.

If you want proof he is lying take a close look at the identification he sent you.  His geologist’s card has been put together on a computer and, more tellingly, has never left a computer.  It has not been scanned like he said.  There would be a shadow around it if it had been scanned.  The signature on it is different to the one on his driving licence and the head on the licence looks rather large compared to the body, stuck on perhaps?  If that is not enough, look at the date of birth on the driving licence.  That would make him 55 years old.  In his very first e-mail he says he is 43.  His identification is fake.

As for his geological credentials.  Ask him to list the companies he has worked for, with dates, then check them.  Ask him also to send a graduation certificate.  He clearly knows nothing about dilithium.  That “Project Report” had me laughing.  He has just typed “dilithium” into Google and copied down a few things he found without understanding them.  His comment about “silica-poor planetesimals…” is just copied verbatim from  http://webmineral.com/data/Dilithium.shtml and is used out of context.  Dilithium is found in silica-poor planetesimals, he states that it is silica-poor planetesimals.  He cannot even spell “tricorder”, he says, “tricoder”.  Tricorders are cheap, hand-held instruments.  His claim that it costs 1400 Euro a day to hire one is nonsense.  The other things he says about minerals (listing barite, calcite etc.) are nothing more than what one can find in a trade journal, like “Industrial Minerals”.

Atiku Alli is an imbecile and a liar.  You would be a gullible fool to have anything to do with him.  Nigerian scammers have a word for their foolish victims.  They call them “mugus”.  Do not be a mugu.

 

Ciao

 

Spag

 

 

If the Italian at the beginning is bad blame Babelfish.

 

The next day a very upset Tagliatelle writes to Atiku Alli:

 

 

From: Tagliatelle Carbonara

To: Atiku Alli

Date: Monday, 04 October 2004

Subject: Please explain yourself

 

Dear Mr Alli,

 

            I do not know what to think.  You have seen e-mail from Bolognese.  I do internet search as he say.  I learn about 419 scam.  I look at your identification.  He is right.  Things look wrong.  Please, I must have full explanation from you of everything he says.  Also, proof you are geologist – list of employers, graduation certificate etc.  If you not do all this then I show everything to police.

 

Sig. Carbonara

 

 

After several weeks of silence I tipped off abuse@fastermail.com that a fraudster was using their service and suggested they close his e-mail account.

 

The End

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