TITLE: Quis Decipio Ipsos Deceptors?.........Professor Rupert J. Felcher!
[Translation from Latin: Who will scam the scammers?]
Characters:
(Black
Text): Mrs Maria Sara Akim [the Fraudulator]
(Blue Text): Professor Rupert J Felcher III [an Icelandic Explorer]
(Brown
Text): Mr Duncan Wood [Chairman of Credit, Barclay’s Bank]
(Green
Text): Major Muff Diver [an associate of Professor Felcher]
(Orange
Text): Inspector J. D. Felchingstraw [Canadian Mounted Police]
Red
Text: Additional commentary
The
following stock standard 419 scam letter lands in my catcher account:
From:
maria_sara5@yahoo.com
To:
xxxxxxxx@hotmail.com
Date:
30/01/06
Dear Sir/Ma,
This is where my investment plans stays on: [?]
I am Mrs Maria Akin from Philipine. I am married to Mr.Mohamed Akin from Philipine
and we lived in
Recently, my Doctor told me to stop doing anything because of my health due
to the cancer problem. Having known my condition I decided to look for a foreign
investor that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct
herein,as my late husband has already made the deposit to a foreign associate,fully
indicated before the Bank.
However,I want a Trust worthy,reliable and God fearing Man or Woman that will
assist me receive this fund as indicated in the agreement between my late husband
and the bank. I am ready to give you 25% for your assistant and 75% for
my investment in Oil business and welfare.
And you will be the one to help me invest my share in any profitable business
of your choice in your country.
Furthermore,I don't need any telephone communication [Glad to hear
it]
in this regard becauseof my health and i reside in a Widows and Orphanage
home for now.
In acceptance the following information stated below are required:
1)Your full name and address.
2)Your marrital status
3)Your occupation/Profession
4)Your direct telephone/Fax numbers
5)Your passport details for legal operations.
As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the Bank, i
will also issue you an authority letter that will prove you the present beneficiary
of this fund as the next of kin to the depositor, Please assure me that you
will act accordingly as I Stated herein.
Hoping to receive your response immedaitely.
I remain yours sincerely.
Mrs Maria Akin.
[A
cancer-suffering widow looking to invest in oil. Can’t spell her own name properly
either. Tragic. And so Professor Rupert J. Felcher the Third, always a soft
touch, offers to help out……….]
From:
rjfelcher@fastmail.fm
To:
maria_sara5@yahoo.com
Date:
02/02/06
Associate
Professor Rupert J Felcher III
Arctic
Skunk Exploration Enterprises Ltd
Dear
Mrs Akim,
An
interesting proposition I must say. I may be able to assist you, however, before
proceeding I will be needing assurance that everything is strictly kosher. I'm
sure you will agree that the internet is used to perpetrate all manner of fraudulent
modalities, and being a small businessman I need to be careful. I have to admit
your proposal is tempting, I'm always interested in meeting new friends and
particularly in alternative sources of income to help finance my exploration
activities.
However,
I must point out it was you who contacted me therefore I must insist on some
identification before we can proceed. Where exactly are you located? Somewhere
in
Regards
Ass.
Prof. R.J. Felcher III
From:
maria_sara5@yahoo.com
To:
rjfelcher@fastmail.fm
Date:
04/02/06
HELLO PROF.
[Ahh…...
She’s got the CAPS-LOCK-SYNDROME already]
I GOT YOUR REPLY MESSAGE AND ALL THE
CONTENT ARE WELL UNDERSTOOD.I THINK I LIKE THE WAY YOU EXPRESS YOUR
FEELINGS TOWARD THESE TRANSACTION. SINCERELY I CONTACTED YOU FOR REAL BECAUSE
THE BANK WHERE THE FUND IS DEPOSITED AND CODED UNTIL I RECOMAND A FOREIGN
BENEFICIARY THAT WILL STAND FOR CLAIM, NOW THAT I HAVE SEEN YOU I HOPE YOU WILL
SEE EVERYTHING CLEAR.
I STAYS IN COFLIN HOUSE IN MANDRID SPAIN
[Don’t think
so me lad: an IP trace says you’re in an internet café somewhere in Lagos, Nigeria]
UNDER THE CARE OF GODON PENTICOSTAL ORGANISATION, THESE ORGANISATION MENEGE
THE WIDOW AND ORPHANEGE HOME AS WE ARE HERE NOW.I DECIDED TO JOIN THEN THEIR
PENDING WHEN I WILL GET A RELAIBLE PERSON THAT WILL HELP ME OUT GET THESE FUND
FROM WHERE IT IS NOW.
I WILL SEND YOU MY PASSPORT IDENTITY FOR
YOUR CLEAR IDENTIFICATIONS.YOU SHOULD MY DEAR ASSURE ME TO SECURE THESE FUND AS
SAOON AS I FORWARDED ALL THE CONCERN DETAILS INVOLVE TO PURSE THE CLAIM. YOU
HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT PROVIDED I INTRODUCE YOU TO THE BANK FOR THESE .
MEANWHILE I SHALL LIKE TO HEAR MORE ABOUT
YOUR COUNTRY
THANKS
MARIA
From: rjfelcher@fastmail.fm
To:
maria_sara5@yahoo.com
Date: 06/02/06
Associate
Professor Rupert J Felcher III
Arctic
Skunk Exploration Enterprises Ltd
Dear
Maria,
You
can rest assured that as soon as I receive the scanned passport image I requested
we will be ready to proceed. This is merely a formality, and anyone hoping to
conduct business via the internet would expect no less.
I
am sending an attached picture of me on one of my expeditions in the north of
Anyway,
hope you like the picture and I will be waiting for your response.
Regards,
Ass.
Prof. RJ Felcher III
[Well, no
passport yet; looks like I’ll have to get things started. I sent her the following
picture. Yes it’s Rolling Stone Keith Richards, chopped and slopped onto an
Icelandic landscape (or should that be ice-scape?). As you’ve probably guessed,
there’s no such thing as an Arctic skunk. The animal in the picture is a Tasmanian
devil
From:
maria_sara5@yahoo.com
To:
rjfelcher@fastmail.fm
Date: 07/02/06
HELLO MY DEAR PROF
I GOT YOUR MAIL AND YOUR
PICTURE AS WELL, YOUR PICS IS FINE, AND I CAN SEE YOU HAVE GONE SO WIDE ROUND
THE WORLD [well Keith
certainly has] I SO MUCH LIKE TO DEAL WITH MEN OF GLOBAL EXPIRENCE,
THAT IS MY HUSBAND FOR ME, WE LIFT PHILIPPINES AND BE MOVING ROUND FOR BETTERMENT
BUT UNFORCTUNATLY THE DEATH HAVE DONE HIS WORST TO HIM. YOU CAN SEE THE
MY PASSPORT ID,
CHEERS
MARIA
[The
passport arrives. Check out the date of birth and the photo. The ladette’s in
remarkably good shape for a 50 year old don’t you think? Incidently, this exact
same passport appears on the 419.bittenus.com website so it’s obviously been
doing the rounds.]
[And
then later the same day I get another message from Maria with two dodgy documents
attached – I guess she was assuming I’d accept the passport image. We’ll let
it slide for now.]
From:
maria_sara5@yahoo.com
To:
rjfelcher@fastmail.fm
Date:
07/02/06
DEAR PROFSEE THE
DOCUMENTS INVOLVE, YOU HAVE TO READ THE DOPSIT AGREEMENT VERY WELL TO UNDERSTAND
THE NATURE OF THE DOPSIT AND THE CODE TO DECODE FOR CLAIM. WILL FORWARD WHOM
TO CONTACT AS SOON AS I HEAR FROM THE BANK ON MY APPLICATION
MARIA
[Check
out these two pieces of shite. Both images were massive when sent (76cm x 56cm)
so I’ve downsized them here. Whoever the scanner operator for these imbeciles
is they obviously haven’t got much idea what they’re doing; I’ve seen scans
that were almost a metre and a half wide, and others the size of postage stamps.
Their document fakery skills in general leave a lot to be desired too; I mean
check out some of the fonts and embellishments they use on supposedly official
documents for God’s sake! Love the frame round the first one! Straight out of
MS-Office CrapArt.]
From: rjfelcher@fastmail.fm
To:
maria_sara5@yahoo.com
Date:
08/02/06
Associate
Professor Rupert J Felcher III
Arctic
Skunk Exploration Enterprises Ltd
Dear
Maria,
I
received the documents you sent, including the passport image. I'm pleased to
say that I can now provide you with the following information.
Name:
Rupert J. Felcher III
Marital
status: Single
Occupation:
Professional explorer & businessman
(An
image of my passport is attached)
Please
note that I only use e-mail for all business communications. This is because
as an explorer I travel a lot in remote areas and rely totally on my wireless
laptop computer to stay in touch.
My business philosophy can be summarised in three words: Secrecy, Speed & Security. I have now provided you with my personal details, however there is one further item I require before we can proceed to the next step.
It
works like this: I would like you to send me a picture of yourself holding a
sign. The sign must have written on it a password that I give you. In this way
I know for sure that the person in the picture is you because no-one else would
know the password.
The
password I want you to use is 'I-FELCH-SKUNKS' (do not reveal this password
to anyone)
Write
the password on a large sign and then take a photograph of yourself holding
the sign.
The
photograph needs to be large and clear, and the password easily readable.
Send
the photograph to me as an e-mail attachment.
We
can proceed to the next stage of our business immediately I receive the password
encoded picture. Please feel free to send me any other photographs of yourself
as well - I would be interested to see them.
Regards
Ass.
Prof. R.J. Felcher III
[This is
the passport image I sent her. It’s Keith Richards again, an old black &
white grabbed from the net with a splash of colour added in Photoshop and pasted
onto a photo of Bobby Fischer’s Icelandic passport which is freely available
on the web. The passport details were altered slightly to suit the bait - Fischer
becomes Felcher etc.]
[She doesn’t
contact me for a couple of days and I’m starting to suspect I might have blown
it with the demand for a photo. So I fire off a reminder with a cover story
about being trapped in an ice cave with suspected communication difficulties,
and a bit of a gold find thrown in for extra incentive. We’ll see if she goes
for it.]
From:
rjfelcher@fastmail.fm
To:
maria_sara5@yahoo.com
Date:
10/02/06
Associate
Professor Rupert J Felcher III
Arctic
Skunk Exploration Enterprises Ltd
Dear
Maria,
Did
you get my last message with the passport attached? I tried sending it twice
as my wireless connection crashed while trying to send it from inside an ice
cave somewhere in the frozen wasteland. Please contact me again to verify your
receipt and understanding of the message or advise me to send it again if necessary.
Heading back to
Regards,
Ass.
Prof. R.J. Felcher III
[Then
lo and behold I get this:]
From:
maria_sara5@yahoo.com
To:
rjfelcher@fastmail.fm
Date:
11/02/06
HELLO MY DEAR JAMES
I GOT THE PICTURE YOU SENT, AND I
STLL WAITE FOR YOUR GO AHEAD OTHER, TODAY I HAVE WRITING TO THE BANK AND I AM
WAITNG FOR THE APROVAL, I CAN SEE YOU ARE ALWAYS BUSY ,ARE YOU SURE YOU CAN
HELP ME OUT ON THESE? THE MOMENT THEY BANK APPROVE MY APPLCATION ,I WILL NFORM
YOU TO CONTACT THEM ON THEIR PROTICOL
THANKS FOR YOUR PICS ,I CAN TRUST
WITH THAT ALONE
CHEERS
MARIA
[Looks like
she’s still hooked, but there’s a few worrying signs: she’s writing in capitals
AND bold type now, and asking for further reassurance. Notice she’s also started
calling me ‘James’. I never told her what the ‘J’ in my name stood for so she
must have got it from the passport, but why start using it when I don’t use
it myself? Also no sign of the picture I asked for. Think she needs some gentle
persuasion but I’ll have to be careful!]
From:
rjfelcher@fastmail.fm
To:
maria_sara5@yahoo.com
Date:
12/02/06
Associate
Professor Rupert J Felcher III
Arctic
Skunk Exploration Enterprises
Dear
Maria,
Received
your last e-mail. There are some issues I must address. Firstly, I must insist
that you not to refer to me as James. That is my middle name and I only ever
use the initial J. Please consider it your honor and privilege to call me Felch,
all my friends and associates do so as a mark of respect and affection. (Please
note that ‘Associate Professor’ is an honorary title bestowed on me by the Faculty
of Debauchery at
Secondly,
you seem to have some reservations regarding my integrity and the success of
our partnership. To ease your mind, please read again the e-mail I sent with
the passport attached. If you read this carefully you will understand that by
requesting the picture and password I am attempting to strengthen the security
of our arrangement.
I
am sure everyone who communicates and conducts important business over the internet
feels the same way. Technology moves at such a rapid rate that the security
modalities have simply not yet caught up to the complexity of the business transactions
being conducted over the internet. This is why I always insist on this security
procedure, no matter who I am dealing with; it’s simply good business practice.
If
you could let me have the picture as specified in my previous e-mail then we
will be ready to progress. Remember, do not repeat the password to anyone else.
This is of vital importance, the security of the entire operation depends on
it. (Note: As an added security measure I am keeping our communications entirely
separate from my regular business.) If you require any further clarification
do not hesitate to contact me.
As
a gesture of good will I am sending you another recent picture of myself. It
shows me in my office in
Regards
Ass.
Prof. R.J. Felcher III (Felch)
[I
send the following picture: Keith Richards again, complete with Arctic Skunk
logo and cheque.]
From:
maria_sara5@yahoo.com
To:
rjfelcher@fastmail.fm
Date:
13/02/06
HELLO MY DEAR FELCH [Well
at least she used the name I insisted on this time.]
I LIKE THE IDEA OF SEND PICTURE
FOR SEWCURITY WISE BUT I CAN TELL YOU I WILL DO THAT BUT NOT IMMEDIATE,THE AREA
WE ARE STAYING HERE IS NOT ALL THAT BRIGHT ZONE [Yeah
I can understand that. Notoriously badly lit those Spanish orphanages; especially
the ones that provide high-speed internet for their residents while neglecting
to pay the lighting bills.] PLEASE I SHOULD TAKE
MY TIOME TO SEND YOU ANOTHER OF MY PICS.
I THINK MY DEAR WE ARE WAITING MUCH TIME TO PROCCEED, REMEMBER THAT ALL MY
ENTIRE LIFE BASE ON THESE VERY FUND, AND I HAVE REACH THE BANK INSIDERS
REGARDING THESE BUT I CAN NOT DO ANYTHING WITH INTRODUCING A BENEFICIARY, ARE
YOU NOT READY YET TO ASSIST ME? I AM BECOMING SO WORRIED NOW BECAUSE AFTER MY
APPLICATION TO BANK RECOMANDING YOU AS THE FOREIGN BENEFICIARY TO STAND FOR
CLAIM IT SEEMS YOU ARE DRAWING BACK, PLEASE LET ME KNOE YOURSTAND, IF YOU
ARE READY I WILL FORWARD THE BANK CONTACT DETAILS TO YOU
CHEERS
MARIA
[She’s still
sounding a little twitchy. And still no picture. So I give her some extra time
to find a ‘bright zone’ while reminding her I still require the photo. Actually,
I’m finding myself quite taken with that phrase ‘Bright Zone’. I’ve even started
using it in everyday life. These 419er scumbags can occasionally be an unintentional
source of amusing expressions. Most of their emails just come out like a load
of shit but I find there’s the occasional gem in there.]
From:
rjfelcher@fastmail.fm
To:
maria_sara5@yahoo.com
Date:
14/02/06
Associate
Professor Rupert J Felcher III
Arctic
Skunk Exploration Enterprises Ltd
Dear
Maria,
I
quite understand the situation. My last email was intended to reassure you as
to the safety of our arrangement. Let me try again. My personal information
and yours can easily be hijacked by thieving internet scum and cyberspace pirates
at any time, that is why my own security and the security of the people I communicate
with such as yourself is so important to me.
By
all means send the bank details to me and I can look them over and get ready
to contact them while I am waiting for the password picture.
How
are you anyway, your health is improving I trust. How did you like the last
picture I sent you?
When
I'm on my next field trip, whenever that is, I'll try to get some more photos
to send.
Waiting
to hear from you.
Regards,
Felch
From:
maria_sara5@yahoo.com
To:
rjfelcher@fastmail.fm
Date:
15/02/06
HELLO MY DEAR [What?
No Felch this time? Looks like she doesn’t know what to call me now.]
CHEERS AND REMAIN BLESS
MARIA
From:
maria_sara5@yahoo.com
To:
rjfelcher@fastmail.fm
Date:
16/02/06
HELLO MY DEAR
THESE IS THE CONTCT DETAILS I COLLECTED FROM MR DAVID THE BANK ADVICER WHO
ADVICE ME ON HOW TO GET THESE FUND OUT.
HE SAID YOU SHOULD CONTACT THE OFFSHORE PAYMENT CENTRE FOR FAST PROCESS, MAIL
HIM AND ASK HIM WHAT YOU WILL DO FOR THE FUND TO BE REMMITED IN YOUR ACCOUNT.
THE CONTACT INFORMATIONS:
MR
TELL: 44 207 0600452
FAX:44 207 0600428
I WISH YOU BEST OF LUCK, AND TRY AND GET BACK TO ME
MARIA
From:
rjfelcher@fastmail.fm
To:
maria_sara5@yahoo.com
Date:
16/02/06
Ass.
Prof. Rupert J Felcher III
Arctic
Skunk Exploration Enterprises Ltd
Dear
Maria,
Thanks
for the e-mail. I have a few questions. You asked me to mail this Duncan Wood
character, but you've only supplied fax and phone numbers - I have no idea of
his mailing address or his business name. Please read your own message again
to verify this.
As
a matter of interest, where exactly is this Mr Wood located, what country? [Just playing
dumb here to frustrate her. “Mr
Wood” is supposed to be in
I
remind you again I am still waiting for the picture of you - this is most important
for my own peace of mind and the security of all involved. We need to move ahead
quickly here. Business is business after all, or as the Japanese say, business
is war. Get back to me as soon as possible with the e-mail contact for Mr Wood
and your picture.
Hope
you are keeping well.
Regards,
Felch
[Well
she’s wasted over 2 weeks on me now; I’ve had some fun and she hasn’t, so I
guess that’s a win for me so far. And we haven’t even got to the part where
she asks for any of my money yet.]
From:
maria_sara5@yahoo.com
To:
rjfelcher@fastmail.fm
Date:
17/02/06
HELLO MY DEAR FELCH
THESE IS THE EMAIL ADRESS OF MR DUCAN WOOD
PLEASE WRITE HIM AND TRY TO CALL HIM TO COMFIRM THE RECEIPT.AM STILL WORKING ON
THE PICTURE YOU DEMANDED, BUT THESE SHOULD NOT BORDER YOU CONCENTRATE AND
MAKE THE CLAIM.
THE EMAIL ADRESS.
YOU CAN SEND THE APPLICATION ON THE
TWO EMAIL ADRESSES
THANKS
[Well
I’ve got an email address, 2 in fact, for this Mr Wood ratbag. At least when
he emails me back I’ll be able to determine roughly where he is in the world
and possibly whether he and she are one and the same. That f#@%ing picture’s
starting to resemble the holy grail; I just can’t get my hands on it. (Patience
required here). You can see what’s going on though; either she’s hoping to find
a way out of sending it (chances = 0), or she’s trying to buy some time to knock
up a reasonable fake that looks something like the person on the passport. Of
course our new player Woody the Banker (or wanker) is going to have to go through
the picture / passport routine as well.
From:
rjfelcher@fastmail.fm
To:
offshorepaymentuk@yahoo.co.uk
Date:
18/02/06
Associate
Professor Rupert J Felcher III
Arctic
Skunk Exploration Enterprises Ltd
Please
allow me to introduce myself, I’m a man of wealth and taste. [Couldn’t
resist that line....seemed to go with the Kieth Richards modality.]
I am Professor Rupert J Felcher the Third, of Arctic Skunk Exploration Enterprises
based in
R.J.
Felcher III
[And
I fire off a quick note to my ladette so she can see progress is being made.]
From:
rjfelcher@fastmail.fm
To:
maria_sara5@yahoo.com
Date:
18/02/06
Ass.
Prof. Rupert J Felcher III
Arctic
Skunk Exploration Enterprises Ltd
Dear
Maria,
I
have contacted the bank to introduce myself. Expect to hear back from Mr Wood
soon. I feel the process is now entering a critical phase and I must have confirmation
of your commitment to loyalty and success by receipt of the picture I am still
waiting for. I believe we have come a long way now and feel
we are about to make some real progress. Please contact me soon.
Regards
Felch
From:
sara_akimakim@yahoo.com
To:
rjfelcher@fastmail.fm
Date:
19/02/06
HELLO MY DEAR FELCH
thanks so far for following up the directives, i believe the credit ubit will
answqer you as soon as posible
let keep our hand cross and belive god, i will try my best to get the
pic send to you ,only that the area i am is too remote,
[Madrid
is remote? Who’s she trying to scam?] but nevertheless
let see what will happen
thanks for your couragement
maria
From:
sara_akimakim@yahoo.com
To:
rjfelcher@fastmail.fm
Date:
20/02/06
hello dear
please reply me here when you hear from
bank <sara_akimakim@yahoo.com>
maria
[She’s
worked out how to turn the caps lock off, and she’s got a new e-mail address
and a new name as well (Sara?) Looks like her old account might have been closed
down for scamming & spamming.]
[And
then I get this from the bank. It’s also coming from
From: offshorepaymentuk@yahoo.co.uk
To:
rjfelcher@fastmail.fm
Date: 20/02/06
Sir,
Kindly forward to us your fax number as we would appreciate most having
this transaction by fax.
Yours sincerely,
Duncan Wood
Chairman/Head of Credit,
Offshore Payment Centre,
[And
of course the ever-cautious Professor Felcher replies with.........]
From:
rjfelcher@fastmail.fm